Clarissa Rojas
speaker
264 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Clarissa Rojas’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Saved Not Soft · Spiritual Oppression, Battling Anxiety and Obedience w Clarissa Rojas · 5 Mar 2025
podcast
So it felt so dry. Felt like I was deserting in a dry land, the wilderness. Like, I don't know where I'm going. I'm like looking for the water. He's promising like to flow through. And I'm like, I don't know where I'm going. Um, And, um, that's kind of where I was at when the Lord humbled me because he's like, you're lost because you're not following me.
You're following what the world wants you to do and what the world's telling you to do. Cause I was going to counselors. Um, and at the time I was battling anxiety. So I was going to doctors all the time, trying to see if they can help me with my health and all that stuff. So when I was going to my counselors, how can I do school? Which way should I go seeking, seeking them and not seeking God.
Yeah. at all so um that was God humbling me as well in that area and then a lot of self-humbling and we see throughout scripture ways to humble yourselves is through fasting and prayer and but also just ridding yourself of pride because I thought I had everything I needed to succeed I had my counselors I had my teachers I had finances to go to school so I was like I don't need like what like
why would I go to God? Like, I already know what I'm doing. Like, you know what I'm saying? There wasn't, I wasn't aware of a need that I had. So he had to humble me to the point where he's like, you need this. Yeah. You need direction. You need wisdom. You need discernment. And so, um, my uncle at the time, cause I had struggled with a fear of choking and eating and,
Can you talk a little bit more about that? Yeah. So, well, my first panic attack was in first grade in my bathtub. I fainted because I scared myself so badly to the point where I passed out. Mom didn't know what was going on. She's like, what? Like, you know.
We go to the hospital and ever since first grade, all the way up until like my first semester of college, I was passing out like, I want to say like 14 times a year in and out of the hospital because I'm like passing out so much. From fear. From fear. Yeah. Like literally just from thoughts that weren't real. Yeah. Like thoughts that I'm going to die.
Like all fear, all intrusive thoughts, all anxiety is it's all roots to one thing and it's dying. It's death.
And so but I didn't know that I was in first grade. I'm like, I don't know. I don't know what's going on with me.
if anything my parents should have known yeah but like i'm not holding that against them because then i wouldn't have the testimony of endurance and hope that i have now if i didn't go through that yeah but um like i battled with that like anxiety fear and it got rooted deeply so bad in this one instance where i was eating a bagel and i thought i was choking i did not choke but i thought i was um
Right. And so it traumatized me so badly in my mind, like my mind fully deceived itself into thinking that I couldn't eat hard foods anymore. So for three months straight, I was just eating mashed beans, mashed potatoes, rice. But the rice had to be a little bit mushy and then protein shakes because I was like scared to eat. Yeah. And because you were scared to die. Yes. Yes.
That's another instance where the Lord was humbling me. He's like, you believe your life is yours. You're afraid to die. Why? I conquered that.
Right. And it's funny that it's like the whole gospel is literally a testament of how we're supposed to die. Yes, literally.
Yeah. Because I was like... Oh, like I am prideful because I'm leaning on my own understanding. I'm trying to control my own life when I thought I had given it to Christ. And so I'm in that season, you know, 11th grade to, you know, my freshman year of college. And the Lord was like, you didn't really give your life to me. And I was like broken. I was crushed because I was like, what do you mean?
I thought I've been walking with you this whole time. And it's like, the Lord's like, it's not that you haven't been walking with me. It's that I've been with you. You just haven't really been with me. You know, it's like I've been here at the table, but you keep getting up. Yeah. Like, you know. And so that's where I kind of was.
And because of that fear, mind you, my uncle who was helping me a lot with scripture and trying to help me with my anxiety. And it's funny because people could tell you the truth all you want. You're not going to listen to it. You're not going to listen until God really is like... You got it now. Yeah. Because he would be like, don't be afraid. Like, don't be anxious for nothing.
He's like, you know how many times he quoted that verse to me? Don't be anxious for nothing. But in everything, like... In prayer petition. Yeah. Yeah. Give it all to God. He's like, that's the key. You'll be free. And I'm like, kept reading.
I'm like, I'm... I don't see it. I don't see it at all. Like, how do I get out of anxiety? Like, it's like one of those things. And you see even like the world talking about it and people who struggle with like...
anxiety or depression whatever it may be and it's like they express that they're experiencing fear or that they're experiencing certain emotions and they get triggered almost when people are like oh well don't be afraid and it's like well easier said than done i want to be afraid but there is like almost an accountability that has to be taken because it's like there actually is a part of you that's comfortable with being afraid even if i were to make a bed in my fear and insecurities you would come and find me
Because if God is going to find you in hell, he can definitely find me when I'm not in my right mind or when I'm stuck in fear or when I'm ashamed or insecure. Like God could do that. So it's just a matter of being okay with dying to yourself because essentially that's what Christ wants and that's what he died for.
So... No. Yeah. The dying, the dying to self and the dying to pride is truly what rescued me because I didn't think I was prideful. I mean, I didn't even fully know what pride was. And so I was learning about humility and humility in the Hebrew means and it means to be wretched and needy. Yeah. And I was like, okay, it's a crazy word. No, yeah.
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