Clark Fredericks

So I hooked up with older kids around the lake who had dirt bikes.

And started riding dirt bikes and never went back down to the damn area where he concentrated on.

So I'm smoking weed and riding dirt bikes with these kids.

And I'm avoiding him as much as I can.

Was there any interaction between he and I after that?

I'm sure there had to be.

Because he would come by our house.

But I can't remember it.

It's like I... From that rape on until something coming up, I black it out.

So I tell my dad, no, he never touched me.

I just didn't want to...

I just didn't want to open up that box yet.

And my parents viewed me as the golden child for surviving that heart surgery.

And I didn't want to become the broken, wounded child now.

I wanted to stay as the golden child.

And, you know, like.

There's so much shame, especially in male on male.

Did he have to beat his dog to death in front of me to keep me quiet?

I probably would have kept quiet just from the shame.

And the longer you hold that shame in, it just manifests.