Cryptic County
speaker
8,902 appearances
13 recordings
1 series
first heard Jul 2026
last heard 3d ago
Cryptic County’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 13 in all, peaking in Aug 2026 with 5.
Appearances
Mike was dark-haired, and would have written a poem before he tried to break down a door.
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So, feeling young, stupid, and for whatever reason, safe enough to sleep, I go back to sleep.
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But it keeps happening every single night.
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Every single night he knocks, he bangs, slams the door, jiggles the doorknob left and right, yanks at the doorknob, flies into the door with the weight of his entire body, but never talks.
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He would be shit as a SWAT officer.
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This went on for about a week, and for some reason I never call the cops.
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I think this was the beginning of the All Cops Are Bastards era.
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I don't know.
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But I do call my friend Pete.
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Maybe for a bit of context, Pete looked like the sniper in saving private Ryan, skinny, bony, oddly serious.
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Pete couldn't hurt a fly, but he had a weird ghoulish face that made it seem as though he could.
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Pete and I hung out for the day.
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Then we waited and waited, and plodded and
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We constructed a plan.
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Speaking in whispers, we waited well into the night.
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At three AM, here come the knocks.
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Out the peephole, we see a blonde man.
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What a surprise.
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He continues to knock, smash, and bang.
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With the chain lock on, we undo the two dead bolts.
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Showing 241–260 of 8,902 · page 13 of 446
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