Dame Wilburn
speaker
208 appearances
3 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard 14 Apr
Dame Wilburn’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Apr 2026 with 1.
Appearances
And I knew that football couldn't be that complicated because it made perfect sense. You attack whoever isn't dressed like you. I got it. The guys that are wearing blue are on my side. You're wearing purple, you die. I figured it out. So we go to line up. and Buddha lines up across from me. Now, I go into a three-point stance. Again, I've watched football, so I know what I'm doing.
So I go into my three-point stance, and Buddha gets into his, and I figure this would be a perfect time to sort of smile at him and remind him that I'm a human being. You know, like, I need you to sort of pull up instead of murdering me. When I looked at Buddha, He wasn't there. Have you all watched Shark Week? You know, how when a shark goes to bite you, the eyes roll over white?
He had that kind of thing. Y'all remember Jaws, when the guy said, he's got, he's like a doll's eyes, like his dead eyes. You know, he doesn't even seem to be living until he bites you. He had those eyes. And I knew... I was in trouble. I was either gonna have to walk away and hear this story for the rest of my life. You know, Dame was gonna play football, but then she saw Buddha and she quit.
I didn't want that to be the narrative. So I get even deeper into that three-point stance, and I hear, hut, hut, hut! And then nothing. Have you ever been hit by a train? Have you ever been hit by a train that was full of other trains? When I woke up slash came to, I looked over to my right and there was two inches of dirt, an inch of dead grass, and another two inches of snow.
Buddha had used me to dig a tunnel. The ground was so messed up that when the spring came, maintenance would go out and put in more turf in that spot. When the feeling came back in my fingers and my toes, I tried to play it off. So I popped up out the hole. I told the guys, I forgot I had an appointment today. I need to go change.
So I apologized for my absence, which was coming quickly, and I jogged into the dorm. By the time I got to my dorm door, that's when the pain hit. I got inside, choked down a couple aspirin, took the hottest shower of my life, and stretched out on my bed. I didn't even make it to dinner. Moving seemed an impossibility. The next day I was feeling much better.
So I got up and I walked into the cafeteria and all the Klingons stood up and they all started clapping. And I walked over to the table and said, what are y'all clapping about? And they said, you're the first person in history to be tackled by Buddha who walked off the field under their own power. That story spread like wildfire throughout the entire school.
Now, it didn't endear me enough to the menfolk to get me any dates. I'm assuming knowing that a woman could get tackled by a six foot four dead-eyed monster and survive it isn't really sexy. But I figured out something else. My mother was right. I could have played for the Lions.
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