Dan Savage

You say you can respect other traditions, other cultures. All right. Can you respect... another tradition, another culture to the point that you never meet this guy's family. You respect his culture and those traditions enough to be his side piece forever, which is kind of what I think would happen here. You say you want something serious. You say you want a commitment.

You say you can respect other traditions, other cultures. All right. Can you respect... another tradition, another culture to the point that you never meet this guy's family. You respect his culture and those traditions enough to be his side piece forever, which is kind of what I think would happen here. You say you want something serious. You say you want a commitment.

I'm guessing after four months you weren't sending him funny marriage memes without an ulterior motive, but like, You were dropping a big hint there. And then the conversation went in a direction where you found out that this guy that you've been seeing casually for four months is married and has a kid. I don't know what the beginning of your relationship looked like. Was it casual?

I'm guessing after four months you weren't sending him funny marriage memes without an ulterior motive, but like, You were dropping a big hint there. And then the conversation went in a direction where you found out that this guy that you've been seeing casually for four months is married and has a kid. I don't know what the beginning of your relationship looked like. Was it casual?

You say he's getting his PhD and he has a side hustle. Maybe this was in his mind and, and he assumed it was also in your mind, a casual thing. And he didn't necessarily need to disclose this because he wasn't interested in anything serious. Wasn't available obviously for anything serious. And it turns out you want something more serious. And I sometimes joke about, not a joke.

You say he's getting his PhD and he has a side hustle. Maybe this was in his mind and, and he assumed it was also in your mind, a casual thing. And he didn't necessarily need to disclose this because he wasn't interested in anything serious. Wasn't available obviously for anything serious. And it turns out you want something more serious. And I sometimes joke about, not a joke.

I mean it laying your kink cards on the table at around six months. Well, here you are four months in and he laid his wife and kid card on the table. You say that he told you he's not sure he's going to get a divorce. Also not sure about whether or not he wants to give his marriage a shot.

I mean it laying your kink cards on the table at around six months. Well, here you are four months in and he laid his wife and kid card on the table. You say that he told you he's not sure he's going to get a divorce. Also not sure about whether or not he wants to give his marriage a shot.

He's told you he's never lived with this woman or even been in the same country with this woman, but somehow they were together at some point long enough for him to impregnate her and And at this point, this tipping point, I'm beginning to think, not sure he's going to get a divorce. That means he's not going to get a divorce.

He's told you he's never lived with this woman or even been in the same country with this woman, but somehow they were together at some point long enough for him to impregnate her and And at this point, this tipping point, I'm beginning to think, not sure he's going to get a divorce. That means he's not going to get a divorce.

That he may be now telling you what he thinks you need to hear to continue to date him, to see him, to hang out with him. And so respect for other cultures and traditions is great, but you also have to show, have some respect for what you want. out of a relationship.

That he may be now telling you what he thinks you need to hear to continue to date him, to see him, to hang out with him. And so respect for other cultures and traditions is great, but you also have to show, have some respect for what you want. out of a relationship.

And it seems pretty clear you're not going to get what you want out of a relationship from this guy, who at the very least is going to be seriously encumbered for the rest of his life. Do you want to be with somebody who is supporting a family on the other side of the world if indeed he stays with you on your side of the world?

And it seems pretty clear you're not going to get what you want out of a relationship from this guy, who at the very least is going to be seriously encumbered for the rest of his life. Do you want to be with somebody who is supporting a family on the other side of the world if indeed he stays with you on your side of the world?

And if he doesn't divorce this woman, he can't marry you, and then how does he stay on your side of the world? I think to protect yourself, you need to look at this as a cultural exchange. You need to look at this as potentially a successful short-term relationship and enjoy how much more time are you willing to invest in this guy? You know yourself better than I do.

And if he doesn't divorce this woman, he can't marry you, and then how does he stay on your side of the world? I think to protect yourself, you need to look at this as a cultural exchange. You need to look at this as potentially a successful short-term relationship and enjoy how much more time are you willing to invest in this guy? You know yourself better than I do.

Can you stop making an emotional investment in this person and just enjoy time and attention and someone to hang with and the dick? Until you meet somebody else.

Can you stop making an emotional investment in this person and just enjoy time and attention and someone to hang with and the dick? Until you meet somebody else.

I mean, if he's got a wife on the other side of the world, I think you should be free to date other men on this side of the world in case one might come along who wants what you want, which is a serious commitment and not a secret second family. And to be clear, you will be the secret second family. This episode is brought to you by Field.

I mean, if he's got a wife on the other side of the world, I think you should be free to date other men on this side of the world in case one might come along who wants what you want, which is a serious commitment and not a secret second family. And to be clear, you will be the secret second family. This episode is brought to you by Field.