Dan Savage

joining me to help tackle this question, because why not? Des Bishop is a touring comedian whose newest special, of all people, is out now on YouTube. Hey, Des, thank you for coming on the show. Oh, it's great to be here. Lovely to virtually meet you. I saw your special and wanted to have you on.

It's hilarious because despite your very heteronormative material, very heteronormative material that you do, you gave some really great sex advice, period sex advice for young men, straight men on handling rejection, advice on navigating casual hookups for guys with one ball. You are a straight dude, a tall, good-looking, straight white man. So...

It's hilarious because despite your very heteronormative material, very heteronormative material that you do, you gave some really great sex advice, period sex advice for young men, straight men on handling rejection, advice on navigating casual hookups for guys with one ball. You are a straight dude, a tall, good-looking, straight white man. So...

You would know better than I how best to surprise a straight dude with a sex move.

You would know better than I how best to surprise a straight dude with a sex move.

Or a fundamentalist Mormon compound kind of marriage. Like, how do you surprise the polyamorous straight dude with two girlfriends?

Or a fundamentalist Mormon compound kind of marriage. Like, how do you surprise the polyamorous straight dude with two girlfriends?

I get this question a lot and I kind of hate it where people are like, tell me a thing to do. Give me a sex assignment that'll blow my partner's mind. And my first thought is always shit in his mouth. I bet that would surprise him. He won't see that one coming. Tell him you wanted to rip you and then shit in his mouth. There's no surprise.

I get this question a lot and I kind of hate it where people are like, tell me a thing to do. Give me a sex assignment that'll blow my partner's mind. And my first thought is always shit in his mouth. I bet that would surprise him. He won't see that one coming. Tell him you wanted to rip you and then shit in his mouth. There's no surprise.

Like you can't just ask somebody else to assign something to you to do to your lover that will work for them. Like I, you know him better than me or Dez does. You can make a better safe guess about what he might like if it's not shitting in his mouth and bust that move. Like I can't actually help you here.

Like you can't just ask somebody else to assign something to you to do to your lover that will work for them. Like I, you know him better than me or Dez does. You can make a better safe guess about what he might like if it's not shitting in his mouth and bust that move. Like I can't actually help you here.

You don't want to traumatize him. You don't want to pick off a fingernail in his butt or something.

You don't want to traumatize him. You don't want to pick off a fingernail in his butt or something.

That is good advice to like one up to go like one step further on themes that have already been incorporated into your erotic dynamic to like push things a little further rather than hit them with something from left field because you just never know what's going to work for someone or what's going to traumatize someone.

That is good advice to like one up to go like one step further on themes that have already been incorporated into your erotic dynamic to like push things a little further rather than hit them with something from left field because you just never know what's going to work for someone or what's going to traumatize someone.

That's what he's watching. When they say he likes to watch, he means them. Yes. Like he's already winning here. Like how many cherries on this Sunday does this one guy get?

That's what he's watching. When they say he likes to watch, he means them. Yes. Like he's already winning here. Like how many cherries on this Sunday does this one guy get?

Or maybe he's got a weak heart and they're in the will and they're trying to induce that heart attack by shitting in his mouth. By busting a move that he did not see coming. Yeah, people ask me this question all the time. Like, assign me a sex toy. And it's like, I'm sorry, I can't. do that, like a vibrator is like the basic first rung. But people are like, give me something crazy.

Or maybe he's got a weak heart and they're in the will and they're trying to induce that heart attack by shitting in his mouth. By busting a move that he did not see coming. Yeah, people ask me this question all the time. Like, assign me a sex toy. And it's like, I'm sorry, I can't. do that, like a vibrator is like the basic first rung. But people are like, give me something crazy.

And I'm like, well, sex toys are subjective. Like a roll of duct tape for some people is a sex toy. For most people, it's a hostage situation if it's being applied to a human being and not a sexual situation. And so I can't just like... give people random sex act assignments or kink assignments or sex toy assignments. It's got to be what works for you, works for your partner.