Dan Savage

I'm gay until my dick comes out and then I kind of lose it when I'm with a dude, trans or cis, or I'm gay so long as I'm getting blown by a guy who is keeping, if he has a dick, his dick in his pants or bending over for me, but doesn't expect me to bend over for him. I don't want to touch a dick. That's not gay that would pass the gay muster in my gay house, but I guess that's gay for him.

You say he identifies as bi, he's one of those guys who's using gay to mean any male-male sex that he engages in colloquially in a way that I think he's entitled to as a bi guy, but if a gay guy used gay to mean that, to use gay in that way in reference to the sex a bi guy might be having, it could be dot, dot, dot. Problematic. All right. So what do you do?

You say he identifies as bi, he's one of those guys who's using gay to mean any male-male sex that he engages in colloquially in a way that I think he's entitled to as a bi guy, but if a gay guy used gay to mean that, to use gay in that way in reference to the sex a bi guy might be having, it could be dot, dot, dot. Problematic. All right. So what do you do?

Well, you went out, you had flirty drinks. The conversation went to what some may feel are inappropriate places and ended on a note of erotic tension and ambiguity. How do you resolve that erotic tension? How do you clarify what's ambiguous now? Well, you go out for drinks again and you keep talking to this dude if you are interested in this dude. But at some point you're going to have to

Well, you went out, you had flirty drinks. The conversation went to what some may feel are inappropriate places and ended on a note of erotic tension and ambiguity. How do you resolve that erotic tension? How do you clarify what's ambiguous now? Well, you go out for drinks again and you keep talking to this dude if you are interested in this dude. But at some point you're going to have to

Pull one of my signature moves, which is just looking at somebody and being really blunt. Hey, last time we had drinks, you said you're gay until the dick comes out. And I said, well, you're in luck because there's a lot of guys out there without dicks these days. I'm one of those guys. I'm a trans man and I haven't had bottom surgery. I don't intend to get bottom surgery. So...

Pull one of my signature moves, which is just looking at somebody and being really blunt. Hey, last time we had drinks, you said you're gay until the dick comes out. And I said, well, you're in luck because there's a lot of guys out there without dicks these days. I'm one of those guys. I'm a trans man and I haven't had bottom surgery. I don't intend to get bottom surgery. So...

You could be gay for me without any dick other than yours ever coming out and just hit on the motherfucker already if it feels right. And it might be better with the workflow charts and the power structure and him being above you, him being a higher up if you were the one who made the first explicit move. He may feel less...

You could be gay for me without any dick other than yours ever coming out and just hit on the motherfucker already if it feels right. And it might be better with the workflow charts and the power structure and him being above you, him being a higher up if you were the one who made the first explicit move. He may feel less...

at risk or less vulnerable to a charge of sexual harassment in the workplace if he, as the overling, didn't make the first move on you, the underling. But he certainly, I think by having this conversation with you and where this conversation went, opened the door to you making that first move.

at risk or less vulnerable to a charge of sexual harassment in the workplace if he, as the overling, didn't make the first move on you, the underling. But he certainly, I think by having this conversation with you and where this conversation went, opened the door to you making that first move.

Not all women can have multiple orgasms. Not all women who can have multiple orgasms report having had multiple orgasms at their last or during their last sexual experience, their most recent sexual experience. Only 15-ish percent, according to the study I'm looking at right now, of women who can have multiple orgasms had multiples during the last sexual experience they enjoyed multiple

Not all women can have multiple orgasms. Not all women who can have multiple orgasms report having had multiple orgasms at their last or during their last sexual experience, their most recent sexual experience. Only 15-ish percent, according to the study I'm looking at right now, of women who can have multiple orgasms had multiples during the last sexual experience they enjoyed multiple

when they did have an orgasm, when they climaxed, but just climaxed once during their last sexual experience. So just knowing that for some women, not all women, for some women, multiple orgasms during a sexual encounter is... they regard personally and subjectively as the best sex or a peak sexual experience.

when they did have an orgasm, when they climaxed, but just climaxed once during their last sexual experience. So just knowing that for some women, not all women, for some women, multiple orgasms during a sexual encounter is... they regard personally and subjectively as the best sex or a peak sexual experience.

You're extrapolating from hearing about that from one woman who experiences multiple orgasms in that way and projecting it onto all women everywhere and assuming that all women everywhere feel exactly the same way that they want to come and they don't want to come just once. And if they don't come a million times during a single sexual encounter, it wasn't,

You're extrapolating from hearing about that from one woman who experiences multiple orgasms in that way and projecting it onto all women everywhere and assuming that all women everywhere feel exactly the same way that they want to come and they don't want to come just once. And if they don't come a million times during a single sexual encounter, it wasn't,

best sex they ever had that's a really weird standard you don't have the best sex you ever had every single time you have sex you want good sex you want rewarding sex, intimate sex, connected sex every time.

best sex they ever had that's a really weird standard you don't have the best sex you ever had every single time you have sex you want good sex you want rewarding sex, intimate sex, connected sex every time.

But sometimes you do have maintenance sex or just calm and chill sex where you're connecting with your partner, but it's not swinging from the chandeliers by your ankles and your eyes are crossed afterwards. And you don't want it to be that every single time because that's physically and emotionally taxing in ways that can work as a disincentive to