Dan Savage

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Masculinity particularly the heterosexual variety masculinity, can really be a prison. What I hear when your friend says that not having a father growing up made you less of a man, whereas he had a father growing up and therefore he is more of a man, is that he's trapped in this performance of sexuality

Masculinity particularly the heterosexual variety masculinity, can really be a prison. What I hear when your friend says that not having a father growing up made you less of a man, whereas he had a father growing up and therefore he is more of a man, is that he's trapped in this performance of sexuality

this idea of masculinity of manhood that was imposed on him by his father or by the expectations that he feels his father has of him. And I think he looks at you and how free you are to be the man you are, the gay man that you are. And this shitty comment that he made is,

this idea of masculinity of manhood that was imposed on him by his father or by the expectations that he feels his father has of him. And I think he looks at you and how free you are to be the man you are, the gay man that you are. And this shitty comment that he made is,

These shitty comments that he suddenly started making are an expression of jealousy and rage and perhaps an indication that he might be gay himself. And sometimes the worst homophobes, we used to say this all the time, and it would come true so regularly.

These shitty comments that he suddenly started making are an expression of jealousy and rage and perhaps an indication that he might be gay himself. And sometimes the worst homophobes, we used to say this all the time, and it would come true so regularly.

It was a cliche that like somebody who's a raging homophobe or a professional homophobe is often, as I like to say, externalizing that internal conflict, trying to control themselves and their own burning hunger for cock by condemning other people who are acting on their burning hunger for cock and trying to draw a clear, bright line between who they are and who you are because basically

It was a cliche that like somebody who's a raging homophobe or a professional homophobe is often, as I like to say, externalizing that internal conflict, trying to control themselves and their own burning hunger for cock by condemning other people who are acting on their burning hunger for cock and trying to draw a clear, bright line between who they are and who you are because basically

deep down inside and sometimes not so deep down, but right on the surface, they know that they are hungry for cock too. They're just not free. They just can't give themselves permission to come the fuck out, to live openly, to shoulder the consequences of coming the fuck out and living openly.

deep down inside and sometimes not so deep down, but right on the surface, they know that they are hungry for cock too. They're just not free. They just can't give themselves permission to come the fuck out, to live openly, to shoulder the consequences of coming the fuck out and living openly.

And seeing someone like you, having someone like you in their life as an intimate, as a friend, can really make a person feel shitty about themselves. And it can make a shitty closeted person who feels shitty about himself want to say and do shitty things to punish the gay person in their life who's out, who's...