Dan Savage

And seeing someone like you, having someone like you in their life as an intimate, as a friend, can really make a person feel shitty about themselves. And it can make a shitty closeted person who feels shitty about himself want to say and do shitty things to punish the gay person in their life who's out, who's...

freedom makes them feel shitty about their cowardice by saying shitty disparaging things. I have lived long enough to see this tape unspool dozens of times where 16, 18, 20, 22, 24, people I went to college with, really performatively homophobic, sneering, saying shitty, diggy little things, and then they come out. Happens over and over again. Not in all cases.

freedom makes them feel shitty about their cowardice by saying shitty disparaging things. I have lived long enough to see this tape unspool dozens of times where 16, 18, 20, 22, 24, people I went to college with, really performatively homophobic, sneering, saying shitty, diggy little things, and then they come out. Happens over and over again. Not in all cases.

I'm not saying everybody who's ever said a shitty homophobic thing is secretly hungry for cock, but it happens regularly enough. And based on your description of how it's been happening with this guy...

I'm not saying everybody who's ever said a shitty homophobic thing is secretly hungry for cock, but it happens regularly enough. And based on your description of how it's been happening with this guy...

My spidey senses tell me that this guy has a very awkward, clumsy coming out in his future where he is going to have to come to you and apologize to you for the shitty things he said to you when he was struggling with the decision about what he's going to do with the rest of his life. Whether he's going to keep trying to nail that closet door shut and stay put or he was going to come the fuck out.

My spidey senses tell me that this guy has a very awkward, clumsy coming out in his future where he is going to have to come to you and apologize to you for the shitty things he said to you when he was struggling with the decision about what he's going to do with the rest of his life. Whether he's going to keep trying to nail that closet door shut and stay put or he was going to come the fuck out.

All right. Setting that theory aside, maybe he's not gay. Maybe he's just an asshole. You don't have to have assholes in your life. Even if he's closeted and kind of pathetic and this is sad, you don't have to have him in your life while he's being an asshole. You should say to this guy, I thought we were good, but lately you've been saying these shitty, easily disproved things.

All right. Setting that theory aside, maybe he's not gay. Maybe he's just an asshole. You don't have to have assholes in your life. Even if he's closeted and kind of pathetic and this is sad, you don't have to have him in your life while he's being an asshole. You should say to this guy, I thought we were good, but lately you've been saying these shitty, easily disproved things.

Yeah, I don't have a dad. I didn't have a father in my life growing up. It doesn't make me any less of a man and it's not why I'm Gay. There's plenty of gay guys out there who were raised by their dads and are gay still. And my uncle didn't turn me gay because people don't turn people gay. And what a shitty cliche thing to say. That is not how homosexuality happens. And I think you know it.

Yeah, I don't have a dad. I didn't have a father in my life growing up. It doesn't make me any less of a man and it's not why I'm Gay. There's plenty of gay guys out there who were raised by their dads and are gay still. And my uncle didn't turn me gay because people don't turn people gay. And what a shitty cliche thing to say. That is not how homosexuality happens. And I think you know it.

And I don't understand why you're pretending not to know it. And saying something like that at the end, I think you know it. I don't understand what's up with you right now and why you're acting this way and pretending not to know it. Throws it back at him. And what you're saying to him is like, I see you. I see what you're doing here. And I have an idea as to why you're doing this.

And I don't understand why you're pretending not to know it. And saying something like that at the end, I think you know it. I don't understand what's up with you right now and why you're acting this way and pretending not to know it. Throws it back at him. And what you're saying to him is like, I see you. I see what you're doing here. And I have an idea as to why you're doing this.

And when he's ready to come the fuck out as gay, if that's what's going on. And or apologize to you for being so shitty lately and explain to you why suddenly. Is he being radicalized? Is he watching Andrew Tate videos? What? When he's ready to apologize, maybe he can be back in your life.

And when he's ready to come the fuck out as gay, if that's what's going on. And or apologize to you for being so shitty lately and explain to you why suddenly. Is he being radicalized? Is he watching Andrew Tate videos? What? When he's ready to apologize, maybe he can be back in your life.

But right now, one of the great things about being out and gay and an adult is you don't have to put up with the homophobes in homeroom or in your own immediate family. You get to decide who you spend time with and who you're around. Realize he's your roommate, so you can't avoid him 100% of the time, but you can cut a wide berth. And if living with him is immiserating, move.

But right now, one of the great things about being out and gay and an adult is you don't have to put up with the homophobes in homeroom or in your own immediate family. You get to decide who you spend time with and who you're around. Realize he's your roommate, so you can't avoid him 100% of the time, but you can cut a wide berth. And if living with him is immiserating, move.

Or talk to your other roommates if your other roommates are on your side and are offended by this too. And get together with your other roommates and tell this guy he has to move. Bigotry can have consequences at times for the bigots too.

Or talk to your other roommates if your other roommates are on your side and are offended by this too. And get together with your other roommates and tell this guy he has to move. Bigotry can have consequences at times for the bigots too.

I got nothing. I don't have some alt suggestion for injecting meth into your dick to shrink your dick. The harm reduction intervention I would recommend to your friend here is to stop injecting meth into your dick. His penis. And if he wants to feel like he has a really small dick, there are tiny little dick cages out there that compress the erectile tissues almost all the way back into the body.