Dan Savage

The minute she told you that you were boring and annoying and then added, she feels that way about anybody. She's been fucking for a couple of years. That was your sign to end the relationship. That was her telling you that, that it was over.

The minute she told you that you were boring and annoying and then added, she feels that way about anybody. She's been fucking for a couple of years. That was your sign to end the relationship. That was her telling you that, that it was over.

And yet for some reason, maybe because she identifies as Polly, maybe because like some Polly people, she thinks if any relationship she's in ever ends, it means she's not as good at magic Polly powers as other magic Polly people are. She won't end it herself. And she just keeps upping the ante of the mistreatment and the relation shifting and will continue to do so until you finally realize

And yet for some reason, maybe because she identifies as Polly, maybe because like some Polly people, she thinks if any relationship she's in ever ends, it means she's not as good at magic Polly powers as other magic Polly people are. She won't end it herself. And she just keeps upping the ante of the mistreatment and the relation shifting and will continue to do so until you finally realize

Pick your dignity up off the ground and fucking end it yourself. Leave. Leave or stop showing the fuck up in the playground after school for this bully. And some bully people fucking are bullied to punch you in the fucking face. 37-year-old, heteroflexible dude in the Bay Area, you have options. And you have not failed at being a magic poly person yourself.

Pick your dignity up off the ground and fucking end it yourself. Leave. Leave or stop showing the fuck up in the playground after school for this bully. And some bully people fucking are bullied to punch you in the fucking face. 37-year-old, heteroflexible dude in the Bay Area, you have options. And you have not failed at being a magic poly person yourself.

If a relationship you're in runs its course, it ends or it has to end. And this one has to fucking end. She's tried to end it in a million ways, but she's one of those people who will not end it herself. She just makes herself intolerable. until your hand is forced. If you won't force your hand, I'm going to get on a plane and come to San Francisco. I'm going to force your hand myself.

If a relationship you're in runs its course, it ends or it has to end. And this one has to fucking end. She's tried to end it in a million ways, but she's one of those people who will not end it herself. She just makes herself intolerable. until your hand is forced. If you won't force your hand, I'm going to get on a plane and come to San Francisco. I'm going to force your hand myself.

You need to break the fuck up with this woman. You know, you don't even have to break up with her. You don't have to have the conversation. You don't have to send her a text. Just stop showing up in the playground. It's not the same thing as ghosting. I promise you, she will not reach out to you when she stops hearing from you. She hasn't wanted to hear from you for a long time. Stop showing up.

You need to break the fuck up with this woman. You know, you don't even have to break up with her. You don't have to have the conversation. You don't have to send her a text. Just stop showing up in the playground. It's not the same thing as ghosting. I promise you, she will not reach out to you when she stops hearing from you. She hasn't wanted to hear from you for a long time. Stop showing up.

My brother will never forgive me if I butcher a sports metaphor, so let me make sure I'm gonna get this right. I'm gonna run this ball the last five yards for you. I think Jill is upset by what happened because two male friends of hers that she may have some interest in were alone with her and they both inquired as to whether you were available and might be interested in them.

My brother will never forgive me if I butcher a sports metaphor, so let me make sure I'm gonna get this right. I'm gonna run this ball the last five yards for you. I think Jill is upset by what happened because two male friends of hers that she may have some interest in were alone with her and they both inquired as to whether you were available and might be interested in them.

I think her overreaction here is hurt and jealousy. What do you do with that? You can't call her and say, you're just jealous. That'll make it worse. If you call her and say that, and you go on this trip, girl, you're going to die on that mountain. Jill's going to push you off a chairlift. What you have to do is

I think her overreaction here is hurt and jealousy. What do you do with that? You can't call her and say, you're just jealous. That'll make it worse. If you call her and say that, and you go on this trip, girl, you're going to die on that mountain. Jill's going to push you off a chairlift. What you have to do is

in a situation like this is just kind of absorb it and do the wicked thing, hold space for it, allow for your friend to have had an overreaction that unpacking why they overreacted would create even more hurt for them. So you apologize You say, I'm sorry. You did say you didn't want to be dragged into it. And I mentioned your name.

in a situation like this is just kind of absorb it and do the wicked thing, hold space for it, allow for your friend to have had an overreaction that unpacking why they overreacted would create even more hurt for them. So you apologize You say, I'm sorry. You did say you didn't want to be dragged into it. And I mentioned your name.

I didn't know how to avoid mentioning your name because how was I supposed to know? But I clearly should have handled this differently or waited until one or the other or both of them came at me or began to flirt with me on the trip. And I'm sorry. And let's put this behind us and I will file this away. And if we're ever in a situation like this again, I will know not to handle it like this.

I didn't know how to avoid mentioning your name because how was I supposed to know? But I clearly should have handled this differently or waited until one or the other or both of them came at me or began to flirt with me on the trip. And I'm sorry. And let's put this behind us and I will file this away. And if we're ever in a situation like this again, I will know not to handle it like this.

And I'm sorry. And then you think, but you don't say the intensity of your reaction is tied to understandable hurt. not hard for you to project yourself into Jill's shoes here. If two guys you were interested in both came to you and said, how about Jill? Do you think Jill would want to go out with me? You'd be hurt too. And that might be hurt.

And I'm sorry. And then you think, but you don't say the intensity of your reaction is tied to understandable hurt. not hard for you to project yourself into Jill's shoes here. If two guys you were interested in both came to you and said, how about Jill? Do you think Jill would want to go out with me? You'd be hurt too. And that might be hurt.