Dan Savage

But really, the guys who were into dick but attached to something that looked like a woman would show up at drag night. And we called them panty chasers. And it was, it was weird and off putting. Cause like we didn't mean it as a compliment and it didn't feel complimentary when they were chasing us around. It felt vaguely threatening and often very, very.

But really, the guys who were into dick but attached to something that looked like a woman would show up at drag night. And we called them panty chasers. And it was, it was weird and off putting. Cause like we didn't mean it as a compliment and it didn't feel complimentary when they were chasing us around. It felt vaguely threatening and often very, very.

dysfunctional because when you were a drag queen 30 years ago and a panty chaser would come at you, they would say you were a girl to your face and you would look at them and say, I'm not a girl. I'm a boy. And then they would say, no, you're not. You're a girl. And it was just like, oh my God, I can't deal with this. We didn't go home with the panty chasers.

dysfunctional because when you were a drag queen 30 years ago and a panty chaser would come at you, they would say you were a girl to your face and you would look at them and say, I'm not a girl. I'm a boy. And then they would say, no, you're not. You're a girl. And it was just like, oh my God, I can't deal with this. We didn't go home with the panty chasers.

We went home with the guys who asked us to take our panties and everything else off once we got home before we had sex. But chasers now, when people talk about chasers and They're sending up a flag that they're into or open to or also interested in trans women, sometimes trans men. I don't think it's necessarily a very complimentary way of putting that out there.

We went home with the guys who asked us to take our panties and everything else off once we got home before we had sex. But chasers now, when people talk about chasers and They're sending up a flag that they're into or open to or also interested in trans women, sometimes trans men. I don't think it's necessarily a very complimentary way of putting that out there.

There are, of course, people who find being chaste, C-H-A-S-E-D, not C-H-A-S-T-E, in this way affirming. And sexual slang, sexual lingo, it can have a rough edge. It may not be what you would say in a seminar room or a sex ed class at Berkeley or Vassar, but

There are, of course, people who find being chaste, C-H-A-S-E-D, not C-H-A-S-T-E, in this way affirming. And sexual slang, sexual lingo, it can have a rough edge. It may not be what you would say in a seminar room or a sex ed class at Berkeley or Vassar, but

That cut through the chase, get to the point kind of communication on Grindr can result in people finding what they're looking for and people finding the people who are looking for what they're selling or what they're offering. Not all people are selling. So Chaser, when you see it all by itself on Grindr, probably somebody who's into trans men, trans women, non-binary folks, genderqueer people.

That cut through the chase, get to the point kind of communication on Grindr can result in people finding what they're looking for and people finding the people who are looking for what they're selling or what they're offering. Not all people are selling. So Chaser, when you see it all by itself on Grindr, probably somebody who's into trans men, trans women, non-binary folks, genderqueer people.

Anyway, thanks for the call. Interesting question. Nice little trip down memory lane.

Anyway, thanks for the call. Interesting question. Nice little trip down memory lane.

My first thought, how does the existence of an ex, an ex-girlfriend, even a pregnant ex-girlfriend, preclude sleepovers? I mean, he's presumably not living with his pregnant ex-girlfriend. You say that she's getting close to her due date and he's gone now, he's away now, which leads me to believe his ex doesn't live in the same city where you guys live. And so why no sleepovers?

My first thought, how does the existence of an ex, an ex-girlfriend, even a pregnant ex-girlfriend, preclude sleepovers? I mean, he's presumably not living with his pregnant ex-girlfriend. You say that she's getting close to her due date and he's gone now, he's away now, which leads me to believe his ex doesn't live in the same city where you guys live. And so why no sleepovers?

I don't want to stick a red flag in that, an additional red flag to the red flag that you're sticking into his failing to disclose the pregnant ex to you sooner, but... Maybe a yellow flag? And actually, I think his failure to disclose the pregnant ex-girlfriend, that could be a yellow flag.

I don't want to stick a red flag in that, an additional red flag to the red flag that you're sticking into his failing to disclose the pregnant ex to you sooner, but... Maybe a yellow flag? And actually, I think his failure to disclose the pregnant ex-girlfriend, that could be a yellow flag.

A lot of people are quick to round everything up to red flag, but I can kind of sort of understand why he might have hesitated to disclose the pregnant ex to you. It's only been a few months. You were keeping things secret. casual and when you want to keep something casual, usually it's because there are reasons you're moving away or you have some other commitment.

A lot of people are quick to round everything up to red flag, but I can kind of sort of understand why he might have hesitated to disclose the pregnant ex to you. It's only been a few months. You were keeping things secret. casual and when you want to keep something casual, usually it's because there are reasons you're moving away or you have some other commitment.

There's something that you're not yet ready to share with a person and you want to see if there's someone that you could be serious about before you start trauma dumping on them, before you start telling them. What else is going on in your life that could complicate this relationship? It's entirely possible that he went into this thinking it could be just a fling.

There's something that you're not yet ready to share with a person and you want to see if there's someone that you could be serious about before you start trauma dumping on them, before you start telling them. What else is going on in your life that could complicate this relationship? It's entirely possible that he went into this thinking it could be just a fling.