Danielle Snelling

That's really quite a naive way to look at grief.

When we love people when they're alive, why would we stop loving them and talking about them just because they've died?

That makes no sense.

It's really tough.

And quite often we're all guilty, you know, before we've lost our mums, also within our community, we said some of those things as well.

So it is tough to know what to say, but more awareness out there means that we can do better.

And holding space and listening is one of the best things that you can do.

And simply asking your friend or someone that you know, do you want to talk about your mum or do

can I ask you some questions and giving them the option to say yes or no and going from there.

But certainly avoiding things like she's in a better place or your mum would want you to be happy.

On many occasions when we're upset, we actually don't care what our mums would want.

We just want to be validated and have our feelings normalised in that moment because we can't help how we feel.

And it's quite dismissive of our feelings to just shrug them off because our mums might not want that.

You know, we're so sure our mums would understand that we're sad and that we miss her.

So, you know, asking what was your mum's name?

Would you like to share a favourite memory of her?

Or you're not alone.

Do you want to go for a walk on Mother's Day?

Just really inviting conversation rather than shutting it down or encouraging someone to be happy is always going to result in a much better outcome and to allow that person to feel validated.

Just an acknowledgement.