David Lucas

And I hit the blunt and he said, man, shut the fuck up.

You look like my kneecap.

Killed me.

Do the goofy face.

Do the goofy face.

I do screen printing, so I put shit like this on a T-shirt.

My name's Sean.

I grew up black belt Christian.

We're talking ninth degree non-denoms, all right?

Now, I didn't want to go to hell, but my banana was booking flights, dude.

People say the devil's in the details, but dude, for me, he was in my wiener.

Oh, that son of a bitch.

I was getting hired everywhere.

I was so ashamed just walking around with this rock-hard sin stick in my pants.

What I would do is I'd tuck it into my waistband and I'd cinch my belt shut, like, ooh, you like that, you little pervert?

It's fucking hard, dude.

I tried so hard to be a good boy, but there's no winning with the Dark Lord in your drawers.

Yeah, you either service him during the day or he destroys your underwear at night, right?

I just think it's unfair, right?

If God's gonna make it that way, I think he should have done my laundry, not my mom.