David Lucas

If you could help me.

What?

Gotcha.

It wasn't until two weeks later that she realized that, oh shit, that might have been because they thought he was on his Make-A-Wish trip back from Disney World.

Okay, now watch what I'm going to do for you here.

Do you live here?

No, I'm from Omaha, Nebraska.

I'm a huge fan of the show and... Uh-huh.

Part of the reason I wanted to come up here was I was going to see if you could come up with any new roasts for me.

The Sea Monkey one I haven't heard before, but I've got a couple of favorites I've heard in the past.

Why don't you do some of the jokes that people have made about you?

Fair enough, fair enough.

Well, so there was this one time I was smoking with a bunch of my buddies in my friend's apartment, and we were smoking a blunt.

It got to the end of it, and my one buddy who's black, it was him and his girlfriend.

He's hitting the very end of it, and he hands me the roach.

He's like, damn, bro, that's kind of a fat roach.

Here you go.

And at this point in my life, I was just saying, like, boy, you look like a, to whatever it was.

So I hit him with, boy, you look like a fat roach.

Pfft.