David Robson
speaker
60 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jun 2024
last heard Jun 2024
David Robson’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
By not just being upfront with those colleagues, it's a real issue.
Like people don't really want to collaborate with that person in the future because they don't see them as being this trustworthy person.
So it's really important for us to actually just be honest and open when we have achieved something that we're proud of.
It's just been part of our culture for hundreds of years.
So you have the 17th century philosopher Blaise Pascal, who said, if you want people to think well of you, don't speak well of yourself.
And, you know, that's really been incorporated into so many etiquette guides.
And we've all been taught by our parents, no one likes a show off.
So we really do this instinctually.
We're really scared of being seen as being a braggart.
And that's a real shame because the psychology suggests that actually hiding our successes comes with some quite serious costs.
It really can be seen as being quite insulting, actually.
So we've got some really good research from people like Annabel Roberts at the University of Chicago, and she did a series of studies.
So people might be asked to imagine, say, that their sibling had achieved a new promotion or got this amazing bonus at work.
But the next time that you saw them, they didn't actually tell you this, and you only found out about that success through your mother.
People suspect that the intention for that would be fairly honourable, like you don't want to be seen to be boasting.
But if you feel that you've been on the receiving end of that false modesty, it feels insulting because it's as if that person doesn't trust you not to act like this kind of spoilt brat who's just going to throw a tantrum because they're so envious and so resentful of your success.
And no one wants to be treated in that way.
It's very paternalistic.
It's very condescending.
It suggests this lack of trust that we do find offensive.
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