David Robson
speaker
60 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jun 2024
last heard Jun 2024
David Robson’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
So in that example that I gave, you know, where you're saying how exhausted you are with all of these requests to occupy leadership positions, people tend to not even think that you'd be such a great leader.
compared to if you were just like upfront and straightforward, and you just said, I'm considered for lots of leadership positions.
So again, overtly bragging is actually better than trying to practice any kind of false modesty.
One of the things that does work, and it might seem a little close to humble bragging, but it's not if you're being authentic.
And that is just to talk about the challenges that you've faced.
And I think we see this sometimes with famous authors where they might share some of the rejection letters that they'd had on the way to getting their big book deal.
But actually it works in any kind of professional situation.
The research shows that when you do that, you acknowledge that actually it's been a tough journey and there were bumps on the road.
That people tend to appraise you as being less smug about your success, less arrogant, and they see you as being more inspirational.
So they feel that they can actually learn from your success.
That marks the difference between what you might think of as malign envy and benign arrogance.
envy it's the difference between resenting someone for their success and actually seeing them as someone that you could emulate and that's really what you want to inspire in people is that sense that they can achieve what you've achieved if there's a promotion or raise that you're eyeing at work is there a good way to brag about yourself other than just being honest like what else can we take away here
Acknowledging our kind of challenges that we faced is one way to avoid having that kind of malicious envy that people might feel.
But also what I think we underestimate is how likely people are to maybe combine that feeling of envy with a genuine feeling of confelicity.
It's a kind of under-recognised emotion, but confelicity...
is just the vicarious joy that we feel at someone else's success.
We're very complicated people, human beings, who can have mixed emotions.
And often, you know, even if people feel a tiny bit of envy, they might also just feel genuine joy that you've achieved what you wanted to.
What the research shows is that when you do have two people who are genuinely happy at one of their successes, it just brings them closer together.
It's a great way of cementing that bond.
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