David Sedaris
π€ SpeakerAppearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
I mean, there were two of them, so it made sense the room was a lot bigger.
So I drew up a contract and I bought their bedroom for $1.
And then my mother came down as I was moving their furniture into my teeny tiny bedroom.
And she ripped the contract off.
My sister Amy was saying a while ago, she said, I wish I had saved all the contracts you made me sign.
And I made them sign a contract swearing they'd never get married.
But I didn't want to lose them.
You know, like, I was just afraid.
Because I didn't have a word for what I was at that time.
But I just knew that there was something different about, you know, I wasn't like the other boys, you know.
And I just thought, well, I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.
And I want my sisters to be with me.
I couldn't bear the thought of being alone without them.
So I got them to sign contracts, swearing they'd never get married.
But only Amy and Gretchen.
Like the other ones, I thought, well, okay.
I mean, I'll see them on holidays or whatever.
And neither Amy nor Gretchen got married.
So they have abided by the contract while you have ripped it up in front of them.
I didn't sign a contract to stay single.