David Sedaris

speaker
2,542 appearances 5 recordings 4 series first heard Apr 2025 last heard 17 Aug

David Sedaris’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

Trend

recordings per month · last 12 months
2 · May OctJan 26AprJulnow

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 4 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 2.

Appearances

newest first · ▶ plays the moment
uh there and it's just filled with snapping turtles and with water turtles too but they're a massive snapping turtles like the size of your suitcase.
Oh
in particular that had a tumor on its head.
Yeah, because the other ones, you know, you know the one with the tumor on it.
It's like he's wearing a hat.
Well I was feeding them raw hot dogs, which I don't know how much better that is than but they'll eat.
Anything.
You know, the snapping turtle is just gonna eat it and then think later, Was that a piece of human shit?
And I don't think anything can be too
is.
Because I was in Paris one day and I noticed it seemed to pop up overnight.
It was like half a deviled egg under my skin, right above my
hip and I went to a doctor and he said, Oh, it's a lipoma and I said, Is it gonna get any bigger?
And he said, Probably not.
And I said, Why?
And he said,
I don't know.
Why don't trees touch the sky?
Which I thought was such a good answer.
no need to get it removed.
Showing 321–340 of 2,542 · page 17 of 128 ← Previous Next →