David Sedaris

Yeah. They were living a religious life. Yeah. I felt like they were looking at me like, whatever. You know, if you want to believe that, go ahead. Right. We're both wearing black.

That's really spectacular.

That's really spectacular.

That's really spectacular.

It has 33 or is it 32 buttons, one for each year of Christ's life. Okay. And so you're supposed to think about that every time. Second time you put it on, you're pulling it over your head. Sure. You're wishing that he was crucified at 12. That's what only happens. That is a lot of work. I wore it on stage one night and the lights were really hot. And so I'm trying to unbutton it while I'm reading.

It has 33 or is it 32 buttons, one for each year of Christ's life. Okay. And so you're supposed to think about that every time. Second time you put it on, you're pulling it over your head. Sure. You're wishing that he was crucified at 12. That's what only happens. That is a lot of work. I wore it on stage one night and the lights were really hot. And so I'm trying to unbutton it while I'm reading.

It has 33 or is it 32 buttons, one for each year of Christ's life. Okay. And so you're supposed to think about that every time. Second time you put it on, you're pulling it over your head. Sure. You're wishing that he was crucified at 12. That's what only happens. That is a lot of work. I wore it on stage one night and the lights were really hot. And so I'm trying to unbutton it while I'm reading.

A man dies and he has a company that sells nails and he turns it over to his son-in-law. And one day he opens a newspaper and he sees a full page ad and it's a picture of Jesus on the cross. And it says, we used Epstein nails. And the guy calls his son-in-law and says, are you out of your mind? This is no way to sell our product, right?

A man dies and he has a company that sells nails and he turns it over to his son-in-law. And one day he opens a newspaper and he sees a full page ad and it's a picture of Jesus on the cross. And it says, we used Epstein nails. And the guy calls his son-in-law and says, are you out of your mind? This is no way to sell our product, right?

A man dies and he has a company that sells nails and he turns it over to his son-in-law. And one day he opens a newspaper and he sees a full page ad and it's a picture of Jesus on the cross. And it says, we used Epstein nails. And the guy calls his son-in-law and says, are you out of your mind? This is no way to sell our product, right?

A couple of days later, he opens a newspaper and he sees a picture of a cross and lying face down in the dust in front of it is Jesus Christ. And the caption says, they didn't use Epstein nails. Oh my God, that's fantastic. What I like about that too is that people think it's a Jewish joke. It's not. It's just a dummy joke. Yeah.

A couple of days later, he opens a newspaper and he sees a picture of a cross and lying face down in the dust in front of it is Jesus Christ. And the caption says, they didn't use Epstein nails. Oh my God, that's fantastic. What I like about that too is that people think it's a Jewish joke. It's not. It's just a dummy joke. Yeah.

A couple of days later, he opens a newspaper and he sees a picture of a cross and lying face down in the dust in front of it is Jesus Christ. And the caption says, they didn't use Epstein nails. Oh my God, that's fantastic. What I like about that too is that people think it's a Jewish joke. It's not. It's just a dummy joke. Yeah.

The best joke I've heard lately, someone told me at a book signing, was a guy wakes up in the hospital following a horrible accident and says, doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs. And the doctor says, I know, I just amputated both your arms.

The best joke I've heard lately, someone told me at a book signing, was a guy wakes up in the hospital following a horrible accident and says, doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs. And the doctor says, I know, I just amputated both your arms.

The best joke I've heard lately, someone told me at a book signing, was a guy wakes up in the hospital following a horrible accident and says, doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs. And the doctor says, I know, I just amputated both your arms.

Isn't he really sweet? He is. He's really sweet.

Isn't he really sweet? He is. He's really sweet.

Isn't he really sweet? He is. He's really sweet.

Well, there's a place in, is it Savannah or is it Columbia, South Carolina? And it's a coffee shop and everyone who works there has Down syndrome or some people have brain damage, you know, they were in an accident or something like that. It's so funny because they don't take cash because making change is too much.