David Sedaris

So I was waiting for the perfect person, and this 17-year-old boy came with his mother, and I gave it to him, and I said, I'm not exactly sure how it works, but I think you're supposed to blow into it the second you start raping someone. Right? And then someone was offended by that, and I thought, no. No. A woman's being raped. She's got her hands full. Why can't the guy?

So I was waiting for the perfect person, and this 17-year-old boy came with his mother, and I gave it to him, and I said, I'm not exactly sure how it works, but I think you're supposed to blow into it the second you start raping someone. Right? And then someone was offended by that, and I thought, no. No. A woman's being raped. She's got her hands full. Why can't the guy?

So I was waiting for the perfect person, and this 17-year-old boy came with his mother, and I gave it to him, and I said, I'm not exactly sure how it works, but I think you're supposed to blow into it the second you start raping someone. Right? And then someone was offended by that, and I thought, no. No. A woman's being raped. She's got her hands full. Why can't the guy?

I mean, it's the least a guy could do is blow into a rape whistle.

I mean, it's the least a guy could do is blow into a rape whistle.

I mean, it's the least a guy could do is blow into a rape whistle.

My objection to queer isn't that it used to be a slur. And it really is a generational thing. When I'm signing books, if I meet gay men my age, I say, there's not a right answer. I said, but where do you stand on the word queer? And 90% of them feel the way that I do.

My objection to queer isn't that it used to be a slur. And it really is a generational thing. When I'm signing books, if I meet gay men my age, I say, there's not a right answer. I said, but where do you stand on the word queer? And 90% of them feel the way that I do.

My objection to queer isn't that it used to be a slur. And it really is a generational thing. When I'm signing books, if I meet gay men my age, I say, there's not a right answer. I said, but where do you stand on the word queer? And 90% of them feel the way that I do.

Right. But I don't care that it used to be a slur. It's the fourth time in my life that I've been rebranded and nobody ever asks. I was in Australia not long ago and the flight attendants for Qantas were getting new uniforms. And I just said to one, oh, I love your uniform now. I love the way the navy blue is next to the red is next to the pink. And she said, well, we're getting new uniforms.

Right. But I don't care that it used to be a slur. It's the fourth time in my life that I've been rebranded and nobody ever asks. I was in Australia not long ago and the flight attendants for Qantas were getting new uniforms. And I just said to one, oh, I love your uniform now. I love the way the navy blue is next to the red is next to the pink. And she said, well, we're getting new uniforms.

Right. But I don't care that it used to be a slur. It's the fourth time in my life that I've been rebranded and nobody ever asks. I was in Australia not long ago and the flight attendants for Qantas were getting new uniforms. And I just said to one, oh, I love your uniform now. I love the way the navy blue is next to the red is next to the pink. And she said, well, we're getting new uniforms.

And I said, what if you hate them? And she said, we're all getting a chance to vote on them. But nobody did that with queer. The word just changed to queer. And then people say to me, as a queer writer, and I just like, no.

And I said, what if you hate them? And she said, we're all getting a chance to vote on them. But nobody did that with queer. The word just changed to queer. And then people say to me, as a queer writer, and I just like, no.

And I said, what if you hate them? And she said, we're all getting a chance to vote on them. But nobody did that with queer. The word just changed to queer. And then people say to me, as a queer writer, and I just like, no.

Yeah, I didn't pick it. And also, it's an umbrella term. When I was in Australia, somebody said, oh, I know a nun who identifies as queer because she's married to God, and that is an alternative sexual state. I meet a lot of women who identify as queer that are married to men, but they're open to the idea of a three-way or something, so now they identify as queer.

Yeah, I didn't pick it. And also, it's an umbrella term. When I was in Australia, somebody said, oh, I know a nun who identifies as queer because she's married to God, and that is an alternative sexual state. I meet a lot of women who identify as queer that are married to men, but they're open to the idea of a three-way or something, so now they identify as queer.

Yeah, I didn't pick it. And also, it's an umbrella term. When I was in Australia, somebody said, oh, I know a nun who identifies as queer because she's married to God, and that is an alternative sexual state. I meet a lot of women who identify as queer that are married to men, but they're open to the idea of a three-way or something, so now they identify as queer.

And I just don't know why I'm on their team. You're like, we're not the same. Right. Somebody lumped us all together. I just want to know, who did the lumping? Or BIPOC? What's BIPOC? Black, indigenous, people of color. If you're like a Native American or you're black.

And I just don't know why I'm on their team. You're like, we're not the same. Right. Somebody lumped us all together. I just want to know, who did the lumping? Or BIPOC? What's BIPOC? Black, indigenous, people of color. If you're like a Native American or you're black.