David Sedaris

Long time.

Yeah, and then at first we were boyfriends, and then people started calling him your partner, right?

And these weren't gay people.

It was like well-meaning straight people because they thought that was the word they were supposed to use, partner, right?

And I just hated the word partner.

And then straight people started saying partner too, so...

Then you no longer knew.

Like if a woman said to me, oh, my partner and I will be at the picnic, you didn't know if she was gay or if she was married to a man.

Or not married, but shacking up with one.

You're saying you know when words are in trouble when straight men start saying them.

Well, they were the words that well-meaning straight people thought it was respectful to use the word partner, right?

Like the same way now that a lot of people think they're supposed to use the word queer, right?

And I can't stand that word, right?

But they think they've been told that this is the appropriate word now and the word that they should be using, you know?

And then gay marriage came along and then everyone just assumed that Hugh and I were married.

So they kept saying, you're husband.

And I would say, he's not my husband.

He's just my boyfriend.

Right.

So then everyone started assuming Hugh and I were married.