Deb Proctor
speaker
90 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Jan 2025
Deb Proctor’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
It was a profound moment. It's the duality of, oh my God, what in the world? Who is this cruel? Who can pull this off? Whose friends pull it off? How do you fabricate the details like that?
My real name is Deborah, but typically everyone calls me Deb.
After being an RN for, well, now it's been 48 and a half years,
When you mention bullshit detectors, I can spot them a football field away or further. Deb is Cherokee and proud of her Native American heritage. My grandmother, who lived until she was 99 years old, she is actually our family's original enrollee, which means she is on the Dawes Roll.
Which was pretty unusual to have an original rollie in your life for most of it.
I think I got a lot of my Proctor will and strength and courage from her. She was born before statehood, and she was still stacking her own wood when she was in her early 90s. She was a survivor of many, many situations in her life.
Those life events are what gives the background and the experience to what we would call intergenerational trauma or historical trauma.
When you're a very sensitive nature child, your little heart's open and you're intuitive. You pick up that energy.
The violence I experienced, I truly in my heart know that it's as a result of those that could not heal.
He taught me a lot about community service. He would be in his vehicle driving through the rural areas, seeing what the natives needed. And ultimately, he was a councilman for our tribe, served many, many years.
They had a birthday party for me, and he asked me to marry him, and I accepted. That was the day I turned 16.
He was the one in the family who said you must have an education. And so at age 17, I did start college and I finished at 19 with my first RN degree. That was as a result of my dad pushing me.
I mean, I'm running the hospital as a baby nurse. I'd probably turn... 20, maybe 21 by then. It was tough, but I spent a good part of my energy on trying to achieve perfection. Deb and her husband shared a very similar upbringing. He came from a violent background, very similar to mine. And so we just went together like peanut butter and jelly.
He struggled with drugs and drinking, and he had violent tendencies. It was really hard.
And so for many years, I remained single and just spent time with myself and the boys. And so for the next few years after we divorced, I sought to understand. I bought books. I joined book clubs. Anything on self-understanding.
you know, someone to enjoy life, that I meant something to, that I mattered to.
His profile was just romantic. It was something like, I'm looking for my Guinevere.
You know, the music, a spiritual journey. He loved the Native American spiritual practices. And when I talked to him, I was just smitten with him. She looked forward to his phone calls and emails. I saved all of that. I printed everything. I had a huge three-inch purple binder with all of our exchanges.
He didn't know he's real dad. His stepdad was very violent and he would share stories like, you know, his stepdad murdered the family poodle in front of his sister and his mom and him. And I mean, it was horrible stories.
So when he would talk to me on the phone, he would have that accent. you know, dialect. He would say, hello, darling. Yeah, I can't do it, but it was definitely New Orleans.
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