Deborah Kat

course yeah right like if i'm seeing him as the highest and best then he can expand into that totally and if he's in his highest and best then you know what i get is the is a is the highest and best version of him and there's a uh you know there's a circuit that happens

When we and this is, you know, if you think of it as giving and receiving, but there's a circuit that happens.

If I'm giving and there's nobody on the other side to receive, that energy goes nowhere.

Right.

And one of the things I often see in long term relationships is people are over giving.

And what I mean by that is they're giving and nobody's receiving.

Right.

They're just sort of like and then and then they become depleted and then they don't have anything more to give.

And there's a whole cycle of pulling back that happens, blaming that happens.

And and what what actually was happening there is nobody there wasn't a circuit being completed.

There was no receptivity on on all of the giving.

To begin with.

And then the biggest killer of sex in any relationship is resentment.

Resentment is the top.

OK, OK.

right like you didn't do what i want i'm mad at you so i'm gonna hold back sex yeah going along and not actually enjoying what you're doing so you know this is what worked for us two years ago we're still doing the same thing and then there's again there's no circuit going on so it's like i'm doing the thing that worked on thursday

and you're not responding.

And so I'm going to try harder.

And you're going to pull away.

And you know, it's, it's not actually but not actually having the sex that feels good to your body.