Deborah Kat

Or do I just need to be by myself now?

So for instance, before I would have a conversation with my partner, it's like, okay, what state am I in?

Am I activated?

If I'm activated, that conversation is not gonna go well.

And what I mean by activated is am I pissed?

Am I hungry?

Am I in a neutral state to have a conversation?

not what are the practices I need to do so in Tantra we have three main sort of categories of practice we have movement moving the body we have breath using the breath to it's one of the things that that that we use to regulate our nervous system is our breasts

and sound and sound can be you know you can make sound by yourself uh and release that way or you know taking it into the bedroom the sound of the bedroom is definitely a calming nerve nervous system uh releaser so so i've got practices that i have that i do on my own and then when i do come and connect with my partner things like

Assuming the best of him.

And assuming that whatever it is that we are not seeing eye to eye on, that his perspective makes sense to him.

Exactly.

And, you know, the idea that one of the things that I think of as a tantra practice is the idea that nothing is necessarily wrong and nothing is being done to me, but there is something that is not working in my situation.

As one of my teachers would say, I am who I am.

I want what I want.

Circumstances are what they are.

And so, you know, when I think of life from that perspective, I'm like, okay.

You know, what do I want and what do I need and what's real here?

Absolutely.

And, you know, the thing is, is me doing my practices completely ripples out and affects the way that he interacts with me.