Deborah Kat

There's agreements to be made.

Anyway, it's a dealio.

But we would have these conversations and we would make plans together.

And so having something on the calendar that you are looking forward to, that you are building towards together is important.

Now my top four, my fourth thing.

Yeah.

And, and the, you know, the other thing is, is like the projects that you that that often do come up, you know, the house, the kids, the pets, like, they become, yeah, that's not gonna make you feel more intimate.

No, those don't, those don't make you feel more intimate, they become more of there's also, there's often a lot of contention there.

I would say you've got two different things there.

Being disconnected.

And, you know, I'm always going to say that a lot of disconnection starts, you know, it starts with self.

You know, and I would also say that lack of attraction starts with self.

Right.

If you're not feeling good in your own body, it's really hard to feel attracted to your partner.

Oh, yeah.

And it's so painful, like on both sides of that equation.

You know, there's nothing quite like when your partner says something like, oh, God, baby, you are so beautiful.

And you...

I just say, I hear that.

And I'm like, what are you talking about?