Deborah Kat

Can't you see that?

You know, and we take ourselves out so quickly.

And the other side of that is when, you know, oftentimes we don't tell the men in our lives how hot they are and how sexy they are and how, you know, we appreciate what it is they do because we take it for granted.

Yeah, and I just want to say, like, you know, I think a lot of times women will tend to shut things down because they're afraid of, you know, it's going to go all the way to sex and I'm not there yet and I don't have the time for it.

And it was terrible the last time.

And so, you know, even just...

Which is really sad for both sides.

And so one of the things that I suggest to folks, the couples that I work with, is it's like, can you say something that just assures her that you just want the kiss or you just want to, like...

we don't have to do anything with this, but boy, do I think you're hot.

You know, we, we, I, I get you're doing dishes, but boy, you know, the way your ass looks.

Absolutely.

And I want to say one thing about like initiation, because we as women tend to be like, oh, I'm waiting for him to initiate.

But we have desire and desire is a powerful thing.

And so when we allow ourselves to lead with our desire, you know, to drop the hanky, as it were.

Right.

Right.

Not only does it give our partner permission to, you know, really flirt with us and to know that they are wanted.

Because men stop initiating when they don't think it's wanted.

Right.

And I think, you know, it's a hard thing.