Deborah Kat

It's a very nuanced place, you know, this place of how do we respect consent and let our desires be known.

You know, like how and one of the things that I work on a lot with couples is there's going to be disappointment.

There's going to be missteps and there needs to be reconnection.

And so helping them to have some sort of reconnection ritual can be really helpful.

Yeah.

So what that might look like is, you know, coming back to your partner.

I mean, you know,

They're not easy.

But coming back to your partner and being like, babe, I'm really sorry.

I misspoke.

I misstepped.

Are you, you know, can we have some snuggle time?

I'm really, you know, is there something that you need to say to me?

You know, opening up a conversation and having it end with physical touch.

And so, you know, what I do with the couples that I work with is we start having agreed upon, they're not exactly safe words, but they're sort of trigger words.

So, you know, it'll be like,

finding you know finding that the words or the the thing that helps them to reconnect and that looks different for all sorts of couples it could take you know it could be taking a walk together it could be you know sitting together it could be taking a drive together it could be you know

I know that we can't have this conversation now.

I want you to know that I, you know, that I am aware of what, you know, of the disconnect and I'd like to talk about it later.

Right.