Deborah Kat

And I think it, you know, part of that conversation also needs to be normalizing.

Nobody's in trouble here.

Nobody did anything wrong.

Right?

Because I think it's a big, you know, it's certainly a big thing for, you know, it's something I often hear from my male clients is like, I can never do anything right.

You know, because everything they hear is criticism.

And so, you know, really, for your partner to understand that, and to be able to be like, look, nobody did anything wrong.

it didn't land well, what do we need to do?

Like, how can we reconnect?

And let's, you know, let's, let's try not to do that in the future.

And let's know that if we do do that in the future, we're still connected, and we have the tools to move forward.

You know, willingness is the most important thing you can have in a relationship.

I see both.

I see clients that their partners aren't going to show up for whatever reason.

And in that case, what we're working on is them having their own practices for like, oh, I notice I'm starting to get activated.

What can I do?

I'm going to just let my partner know, hey, I have to step away.

You know, and when you have a closed off partner, there's only so much you can do.

Right.

And what happens with the closed off partner more often than not is when the pressure comes off of them, then they can actually...