Deborah Kat

How's this working for you?

You know, I'm and so, you know, when over the years we've had to we've renegotiated what what our non monogamy looks like.

We've renegotiated our

You know, because there's so many things you don't know when you start out in a relationship.

And one of the things I find so fascinating is that most people, like, you know, the whole chemistry piece of our relationships is a real thing.

Right.

Right.

The first 12 to 18 months, we are essentially drunk on chemistry.

It does go away and other things come up.

You know, back to your point and to your question, you know, we've had different phases of what our relationship looked like.

You know, we've had times when it's really been, you know, flat and just kind of, I hate to say this out loud, but like we were just tolerating each other.

And I think that both of us sort of had an idea that there was something on the other side of it, but we didn't know what.

And we didn't know how to get there.

Fortunately...

I have, I have.

And so like, I want to say about eight years ago, we were going through one of these flat lines.

And I just happened to be working, there's an event that I facilitate for singles called Tantra Speed Day.

And as I was facilitating this for other people, I was like,

again, driving home the place of all, well, many good ideas.

I'm like, oh, shit, why am I not treating my partner the way I'm teaching people to treat each other?