Dee Salmin

It's like a small step in your life before, you know, you're just like, oh, enjoy it while you can.

But, you know, here's all the X, Y, Z you should do to get a guy.

And now you go on socials.

And like, yes, there's so much incredible content about being single and how it's embarrassing to have a boyfriend.

But there is still...

so much content around like, you know, sprinkle, sprinkle, ladies do this and this and you'll get a guy or like, here's how to get him.

And like, I saw a TikTok that I wrote about when I was writing the book and it was like, how to talk to him in your feminine, in your feminine vibe or something or like.

And I was like, what does that even mean?

Yeah.

Like, why are we constantly creating these rules and ideas from people who aren't even qualified around how to show up in a relationship which only encourages women to then minimise themselves and shrink themselves?

And, like, I was constantly changing myself, like, oh, should I be more like this or the cool girl or, you know, don't come on too strong and, like, always overthinking about, like...

you know, not texting, double texting.

And I just think it's exhausting.

It's exhausting.

The glasses, the like, this is the thing where I did that as well.

Like I tried so many different versions of that like quote unquote cool girl.

Yeah.

Which, you know, is spoken about in that monologue, that really famous monologue in Gone Girl.

But it's like I was, if I was into a surfer, which was like most of the guys I was into, it was like I was a chill beach babe, you know, like...

that just went with the flow and if it was if it was a guy that was really into Australian politics then I'd be like at the library like learning about politics like it constantly just shifted and changed and I warped myself to just try and fit into whatever version of hot girl yeah that the person I was trying to get attention from would be into and it's it's one of those things that for the longest time like I never I never dated anyone throughout high school