Devorah Heitner

speaker

2,393 appearances 6 recordings 1 series first heard Oct 2018 last heard 17 Oct

Devorah Heitner’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in Oct 2025 with 2.

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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children · TPP 342: Dr. Devorah Heitner on Parenting Kids Who Are Growing Up in Public · 26 Sep 2023 podcast

I do think that

That we shouldn't be just reading out of curiosity.

That we shouldn't be taking a deep dive and that as our kids get older and as their relationships grow more complex, if they get into romantic relationships or more complicated friendships, then that's even more important to give them the space to have private communication in those relationships.

I do think there is a place for reading, you know, maybe a new texter's text with them, for example, but that's more about a mentoring conversation where you're doing it with them.

What I don't think we want to be doing is covertly surveilling, because when we covertly surveil, we're gonna get a lot of information that we won't know how to interpret.

And how do you guide a kid that you've covertly surveilled?

You can really only play that game once.

Yes.

And I think that

I've experienced that in my own family where even we've inadvertently read one another's stuff because we're just like sloppy with Apple passwords and IDs and stuff like that.

And we're just all of us like, oh wait, that's not good.

So we've really done more to kind of clean up our act around privacy and just being organized and l even just like less laptop sharing.

Like there were a few years earlier in the pandemic, we were all kind of passing around computers more in the family and we just recognized that there was a real privacy risk.

The flip side is there's less opportunity to mentor kids in how to communicate because they're not overhearing us on the phone, because we're thumbing out our lives.

So one thing we may want to do is when appropriate, let them into some of our communication so they can see even some of our decisions, like, oh, maybe we'll tell grandma that news in person because it's big news.

We want to be with her when we tell her that instead of texting her.

You know, that kind of thing, so that they're getting some ideas and strategies for how to communicate 'cause otherwise the opportunities to mentor are so limited.

Because texting is inherently such a private way of communicating, whereas we heard our parents on the phone and that gave us maybe good or bad examples.

To some degree.

I mean, I would say a kid who's coming home from an impatient stay or a kid who, you know, is in like

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