TPP 342: Dr. Devorah Heitner on Parenting Kids Who Are Growing Up in Public
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
56 min
2 speakers
8 chapters
transcribed 6 hours ago
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Why is privacy in kids’ texts and online chats essential for healthy development?
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I do think there is a place for reading, you know, maybe a new texter's text with them, for example, but that's more about a mentoring conversation where you're doing it with them. What I don't think we want to be doing is covertly surveilling, because when we covertly surveil, we're gonna get a lot of information that we won't know how to interpret. And how do you guide a kid that you've covertly surveilled? You can really only play that game once.
I'm Debbie Reber, and welcome to Tild Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm so excited to be bringing back to the show my friend, colleague, and my most trusted mentor when it comes to all things kids and tech and screens, Dr. Devora Heitner. If Devorah's name's familiar to you, she has joined me a few times before to talk about priorities. Prioritizing mentoring over monitoring when it comes to screen time, and what to do when our kids go down a potentially unsafe internet rabbit hole. But today we're going to be talking about such a pressing consideration for anyone raising a kid these days.
What it means for today's generation of kids to grow up with very public lives and coming of age in a digital world where so many aspects of their lives are online and available for public consumption, not to mention that much of their important work of identity formation is being shaped by the media and technology that they're interacting with. Devore gets into all of this in her brand new and I think essential book for any parent Growing Up in Public Coming of Age in a Digital World. For this conversation, I asked Davora to talk us through what I see as some of the more pressing issues for parents like us, including how to balance a child's right to privacy in their texts and online lives with valid concerns about online influences and engagement when that child is dealing with anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges.
The impact of social media on kids who may already be struggling to fit in. Yeah. And how many homework and grading apps used by schools may actually be undermining our kids' development of executive function skills and creating additional stress for parents. And that just scratches the surface. In addition to her new book, Growing Up in Public, Devorah is also the author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive and Survive in Their Digital World. Her work has appeared in the New York Times, The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and CNN Opinion. She has a PhD in media technology and society from Northwestern University and has taught at DePaul and Northwestern. A fair warning, this is a longer episode than usual, but it's all such important food for thought for any parent raising a child in today's digital age.
So here is my conversation with Deborah. Hey Deborah, welcome back to the podcast. I'm so glad to be
here.
Well, I just wanna say also this is your third time back of the show. That pretty much ranks you as one of the most frequent guests of the show. I don't know if that is uh something you should be getting an award for or if congratulations are or in order, but just wanted to point that out.
I feel like I won an award for short now. It's its own reward and the show has been such an inspiration to me and it's one of the podcasts that I love to listen to the most. So it feels like really great to be in the conversation with the folks that you've been having.
That's awesome. Well, thank you. And listeners, by the way, before I even dive in, I do want to share that I will have links to those past visits with Deborah in the show notes page.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Why is privacy in kids’ texts and online chats essential for healthy development?
0:00–7:43
2
How can parents shift from covert surveillance to mentoring conversations about digital behavior?
7:43–15:16
3
What warning signs should parents watch for when a child’s mental health is at risk online?
15:16–22:15
4
How does social‑media exposure intensify self‑esteem issues for neurodivergent teens?
22:15–28:52
5
What is “sharenting” and how can families clean up past oversharing?
28:52–35:28
6
Why is ClassDojo especially challenging for differently‑wired students and their families?
35:28–43:05
7
How do grading apps like Canvas undermine executive‑function skills and increase stress?
43:05–50:07
8
What practical steps can parents take to help kids set healthy digital boundaries and disclose safely?
50:07–56:40
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids