Diego 'Yung Pueblo' Perez
speaker
271 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Diego 'Yung Pueblo' Perez’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
We can actually open up with them and that's really good. But sometimes when the relationship is long lasting, there come points where you're not bringing that same gentleness. You not bringing that same kindness as you did when the relationship first started.
So it's important to know that when someone approaches you, they are honest with you and they can tell you that they're feeling down, but they're not taking it out on you. The other element of that is the compassion. And similar to what we were talking about for entrepreneurs, it's a very specific type of compassion
where you can step outside of your perspective and see the perspective of another, because in all, whenever you want to solve an argument, it's that specific compassion that helps you see each other, because you can actually take a moment to see your partner's perspective, and then they can see yours, and then you understand where you each are coming from. And the last element is growth.
If you're in a relationship, it's going to show you the best of you, and it's also going to show where you need to put energy into. And I think that's one thing that I saw right off the bat when I was first with my wife was like, I needed to improve my ability to listen.
And over time, putting energy into that and then all these other qualities that I have had to develop to be able to bring more harmony into the relationship. I think growth is just something that we don't really have a choice but to embrace if we want to have a happy relationship.
know it's really hard too because it sometimes feel like attachment is love but it's not attachment is literally the craving for things to exist in a very particular way having the people that you love act in these ways have these beliefs they agree with you on these critical things but life is not always going to be like that and when you have these big attachments all these cravings for things to exist in particular ways
they will manifest as control in daily life. And that's when you get things like parents demanding children, this is what you need to study in school and you don't really have another option or partners trying to control another partner. And that's when you get selfishness. That's when you get manipulation and these types of behaviors that squeeze the life out of a relationship.
Yeah, that alignment's really important. And honestly, that alignment should hopefully come earlier on. And I think I've seen this struggle happen in relationships of friends that I've seen where they would literally break up because they just waited too long to have the conversation about whether they wanted to have kids or not.
Thank you.
And then they found out that they're actually on very different pages. I think the alignment has to come from honesty and it has to come from the beginning where it's like you start dating and then once you feel the reality of the magnetic connection, you let them know, hey, I'm interested in setting up something serious with you, having a serious partnership.
And then as you go along, you keep revealing more and more of your values and seeing where they match and where they differ. And if they differ, is it tolerable? Is that okay with you? Because I think that's one of the nice things is that my wife and I, we don't agree on everything. And that's part of the good part of our relationship is that we have different views.
But on the key important things, there is a ton of alignment and that helps us have a value system because just the same way as an individual, right? You have these three different guides that you have inside of you where you have your values, you have your intuition and you have your nervous system. And they've really helped clarify what direction to take when you're moving forward.
But you have the same thing in a relationship where, you know, your nervous system should be very relaxed around your partner. Your intuition should feel like it wants to be next to your partner and your values have that alignment.
I think instead of trying to have control and instead of just coming from a place of expectations and attachments, you want to double down on commitments. And commitments are very different. It's you clearly lining out how you would like your happiness to be supported, what your needs are and what your wants are. And then your partner is then taking a look at what you've laid out.
And then they're telling you, actually, this sounds pretty good to me. I voluntarily commit to trying to do X, Y, and Z for you. I'm not going to be perfect at it. I'm going to make mistakes, but this is something that I can to do my part in this relationship and vice versa.
So being honest and communicating how you would like to be supported and also checking in with that, not just expecting that what we talked about two years ago is going to be the same now. That's also going to change. But I think you want to double down on commitments because then there's no coercion. There's no manipulation. There's no control. You're just telling your truth.
They share your truth. And you're like, oh, I can do this for you. This sounds really good to me.
Yeah.
One clear thing is my partner made it really clear that she loves when I'm in charge of the dishwasher. She loves when I'm helping with the compost. There's something about me taking care of the compost, which feels like the biggest thing that I could do for her. I would have been oblivious to that if she had not told me.
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