Doug Stanhope
speaker
535 appearances
3 recordings
3 series
first heard Jun 2024
last heard Feb 2025
Doug Stanhope’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
The Startup Ideas Podcast · 4 microSaaS ideas you can build to make $100k/month · 3 Feb 2025
podcast
I look like I just heard that too like oh man dude you look so fucking James Bond suave in that yeah yeah I was trying to be fucking yeah it's funny Nate Bargatze was like wear a fucking suit this time I was like all right meanwhile it was fucking like it was a very like film noir 1940s that's what I was going for dude uh meanwhile it's Nate's new special he's not wearing a suit you piece of shit what the hell are you doing to me
That's why I was pointing out the, is Tim Dillon gay? Because I was just thinking that on the drive yesterday. I'm like, I think I'm way gayer than Tim Dillon.
That is the best response we've had to that one, though. I'm not quite sure. I mean, just surface, like, basic things. Like, you're fucking gorgeous there. I love football. For the uniforms. And if you have, like, if Tampa Bay and the Patriots were both playing in throwbacks, oh, my God, I'm the fucking gayest guy. And that's not even, like, putting things in my ass. Right.
I don't even, like, I'm not even sexual at this point. And I haven't been for years.
Right. Well, no, but I'm like, sexually, I would have, like, gay... things that I would be into. I never sucked a dick, but yeah, a lady's put a fucking dildo in my mouth more than once or things like that. You know, I don't know.
I don't want to make it an ageist thing, but at some point, even if I was having sex, I wouldn't talk about it. I wouldn't deny that I'm having it, but I remember... I don't want to name names. Bobby Slayton was the first time I noticed it, where you go, My wife won't fuck me! She won't fuck me! You're like a... Back then, he was the oldest man in the world.
Younger than I am now, but you're like, nobody really wants to picture you fucking your wife. No. At 55, 85 years old, whatever you are. Yeah. There's a certain cutoff where you go, ah.
Jesus Christ. Oh, God. I'm going to fucking find that episode. Oh, that was great.
Wait. Went to fucking, what? Not Epstein Island, but- Just the house. Like a party.
And he was like- I feel really bad for anyone that is connected like that.
Because who knows who's fucking P. Diddy? Yes. If you get invited to a P. Diddy party- I'd love to go.
I've- I got invited to, and they wouldn't say who it was, but my manager knew, to do a private for Banksy in England, in Bath, Bristol. And I went, fucking no way. Why? Because privates suck.
No, what a private does is the one guy likes you, and then he's going to show you off to his friends. And I know on a pie chart, the people who like my comedy is a very slim, diet-friendly piece of pie of people that will understand, get, or much less laugh at what I do. I'm a very genre-specific person. Sure. And, oh, I got to do Banksy. And I sucked.
I think you guys were just talking about something like this, where you fucking sucked in front of.
Oh, I thought. I think it was going to be just the most artsy fucking world. Oh, that's bad, too. People that, like, if you said. Well before, you know, the current climate. Yeah.
He's always covered. That's why I couldn't know, but I knew because he knew, but I couldn't say it. And it turns out it was definitely Banksy, but I said no. You know what? I never wake up thinking, fuck, all those people hate me. Good point. Which is the best feeling in the world. But you're used to being hated by now.
Yeah, but that was the fucking last note I wrote in my notebook before I left for here was, you can do anything you want in life, just don't read the comments.
It's just absolute silence. But it's a respect that you have to, once you've done it, you have to, like, I'm going back. I have to remember. They're going to stare at you blankly, and then you're going to have flop sweats. Then they applaud. Standing ovation at the end. They're like, where the fuck was this energy? Right. Because we're so trained to American bravado. Woo!
If you guys want to talk about me behind my back, I hydrated this morning, and I'm going to have to go find a pisser. Go piss.
I'll hold it down. Oh, hey, you know what? I got to do this. Hey, people, you ever want to eat healthy, but you're in a hurry? You don't have time to cook? Well, whatever they pitch while we're pissing, use promo code Stanhope. Don't use the drunk promo code anymore. That's for losers. Promo code Stanhope. That's right. Prize picks.
Showing 181–200 of 535 · page 10 of 27
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