Dr. Adi Jaffe

speaker

359 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jul 2026 last heard 8 Jul

Dr. Adi Jaffe’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 1.

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Tony Mantor: Why Not Me ? · Dr. Adi Jaffe: The Truth About Addiction, Trauma, Shame, and Breaking Free · 8 Jul 2026 podcast

I'll give a stupid example, but it'll serve the purpose.

I brush my teeth with my right hand.

If I want to start being able to brush my teeth with my left hand, for somewhere between a month to two to three months, I'm going to have to wake up every morning and remind myself that the thing that feels natural and easy, which is just doing this, is not what I'm doing today.

I'm going to go do this and it feels awkward and it's weird and I'm not covering my whole mouth.

But if I stick with it day after day after day, two, three months later, the thing that feels weird is going to feel normal.

And so what I really try to enforce for all my clients, there's a process.

So in the book, there's a path in which I help people understand where is my behavior broken?

Where am I screwing up?

And then there's another process, a loop that I take them through, which helps them understand how to change it.

I call it the EAT loop, the explore, accept, transform.

Explore, identify where the loop is broken.

accept and there's a process for acceptance but you can't change what you haven't accepted about yourself because then you're fighting an internal battle so acceptance means reducing shame about it it means having compassion forgiving you yourself and others who have brought you to that place and once you get to that place you're ready for transformation and transformation is normally not always but normally less about stopping the bad behavior and more about replacing it with better alternative behaviors and there are a whole set of different ways to get that done

I think shame is one of the most insidious emotions we have.

It plays a role, right?

If you think back to tribal times and when we lived in small communities, 20, 30, 50 people, shame is the idea that I am different, less than the people around me.

And the different part is what matters, right?

Because if my insides don't match what you need from me, I could get ostracized, right?

I could be shunned.

Nowadays, if I'm shunned, less of a big deal.

There's a huge community out here.

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