Dr. Alex Curmi
speaker
2,747 appearances
18 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2026
last heard 13 Aug
Dr. Alex Curmi’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 18 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 9.
Appearances
And harmful.
I think when we really obsess over someone, we are not seeing them as a real person, a three-dimensional person with their own wants, needs, and desires.
We are seeing them as this desirable object, which, if only we could have them, if only we could possess them, if only we could commodify them, perhaps, then we would get the benefit.
So immediately when you're in the realm of excessive obsession, you're in a kind of taker mentality.
You're thinking about things almost from a kind of parasitic point of view.
I don't want to exaggerate it too much.
Of course, part of obsession is normal when couples meet for the first time, when they fall in love with each other for the first time.
A degree of obsession is kind of normal.
But when it goes too far, obsession really takes away someone's personhood.
You know, it makes them a desirable object for you to have, enjoy, or make your life better in some way.
And that can be that can end up quite dysfunctional.
You know, you have a lot of relationships, long-term relationships, even, where
It's about utility, you know, where one person is using the other, or perhaps they're using each other, and that rarely goes in a good direction, you know, psychologically.
Of course, taking the same idea and going a bit deeper, the film is also talking about ideas of like limerence and fantasy and projection.
For those of you unfamiliar, the term limerence is this idea again, it's it's kind of another way of describing it.
describing obsession so people can identify someone as a limerant object in other words something that they become obsessed with.
Again the term is limerant object seeing someone as an object not as a person
And
The the danger of this this particular process, limerence, fantasy, projection, not only are you objectifying another person, but you're also projecting all of the good onto them.
A lot of times people do this where they disown all the good aspects that they could, you know, bring to the table in life or in a relationship that they could cultivate and they're projecting it all onto another person, they're idealizing them.
Showing 441–460 of 2,747 · page 23 of 138
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