Dr. Alex Curmi
speaker
2,747 appearances
18 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2026
last heard 13 Aug
Dr. Alex Curmi’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 18 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 9.
Appearances
They're constructing a version of them in their head that doesn't really exist, or even worse, constructing a version of their relationship in their head that doesn't even exist.
And if there's one of the one thing that I always think leads people into trouble, it's living excessively in a fantasy world.
Again, this is something that's normal in healthy quantities.
You know, fantasy is kind of a part of being human that we have the ability to fantasize and fantasy can be useful and it can be enjoyable.
But if you're living your whole life in fantasy, then by definition you're being disconnected with reality.
And I can't think of a better recipe for things going badly, whether that's in your personal life or
or in your business life or with your relationships, then living in fantasy and being disconnected from
reality.
That's a lot of a lot of the interventions we talk about, whether it's like psychotherapy or journaling or coaching or
You know, going out of your comfort zone.
all of these things are very much at their core about r hopefully reconnecting with the reality of a situation.
And you do get the sense that Bear is someone that's living in a fantasy.
The fantasy that he can
delay, you know, telling someone how he feels or never tell someone how he feels and somehow get the relationship that he wants, you get the sense that m he doesn't necessarily even know Nikki very well as her own person.
um that he just thinks of her as this thing that if only he could bring her into his life, then he would be happy and and he wouldn't have to deal with any of his own problems.
Again, it's this disowning of himself and what could be potentially good about himself and what he should cultivate and projecting all of those good qualities onto another person and therefore chasing that other person.
in this chase, which if it wasn't happening in the context of the film, you would think this is just gonna go nowhere.
This is just gonna repeat itself until their friendship fizzes out entirely.
That's often how these things play out uh in real life.
Ultimately, you know, again th these ideas of fantasy and projection, again, they're gonna happen to most people in most relationships to some degree.
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