Dr. Alex Curmi

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2,747 appearances 18 recordings 1 series first heard May 2026 last heard 13 Aug

Dr. Alex Curmi’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 18 in all, peaking in Jul 2026 with 9.

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The Thinking Mind: Mental Health & Personal Growth · E184 | Thinking Films: Obsession (2026) · 23 Jul 2026 podcast

And a lot of the challenge of moving from an early relationship into a middle, more mature relationship is dealing with the lifting of that fantasy.

You know, you start dating someone and you you construct a version of the life you will live together uh in your heads, and inevitably that fantasy kind of doesn't include all of the flaws that your partner might have or all the flaws that you might have.

And how those might interact with each other.

And so the challenge of a relationship is staying in it and staying engaged and staying enthusiastic and cultivating ongoing enthusiasm, even when things get tricky, even when you're finding out each other's flaws and your flaws are colliding in some way.

This is key to sustaining a relationship longer.

then one, two, three years or at least sustaining a relationship where both people feel that they're getting a lot out of it, overcoming this fantasy and this projection.

Because what do people do often

When they

get into a relationship and it gets into that mature phase and they feel that things aren't living up to the fantasy.

Uh rather than trying to face that forthrightly and engage with it, which I think is possible uh and can yield very good results, rather than doing that, what people uh often do is they just start to fantasize about being single or fantasize about being with someone else.

And then that becomes the new treadmill that they go on that might lead to something like adultery in an extreme case, or just might lead to the breakdown of that relationship.

And then the cycle might continue all over again.

You meet someone new, fantasize about them, project everything onto them, have the falling in love phase, stay them for a couple of years, and then things can follow that pattern.

So this is the kind of thing that's important to look out for.

you know, Bear and Nicky again, if this film wasn't taking place in a supernatural context, I'm sure they would learn it and figure it out.

Uh but they don't, and things have pretty tragic consequences in this film.

This leads us nicely, I think, to the next theme, which is the nice guy problem.

And we have talked about the nice guy problem.

Problem on a few different episodes in the show.

I don't think this problem just applies to guys, but in this film we're looking at it through a guy's point of view.

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