Dr. Alison Wood Brooks

They're afraid of being too intrusive.

They're afraid that they ask something that it makes them look incompetent, like they should already know the answer.

And these fears are usually misplaced.

But those fears do hold people back from asking questions.

Got it.

That is a kind interpretation.

Yeah, it's funny that this framework is called talk because listening is the glue that holds it all together.

It's so very important.

I know that you have attention challenges.

I also have attention challenges.

Turns out most humans have attention challenges.

Our minds, our resting state of our minds is in a mind-wandering mode.

And so the demand of conversation to try and focus our wandering minds on another person continuously for a whole conversation is incredibly challenging.

It takes a lot of hard work.

Some people are better at it than others.

But if you put in that hard work to be engaged with somebody, even while your mind is wandering, you should get credit for it.

And in our research, we've studied the ways that you can get credit for your good listening.

By get credit, what do you mean?

So get credit meaning you want your partner to know that you've heard them.

Okay, let's break down listening.