Dr. Amir Levine

That was really important to me.

Yes.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Just knowing about these attachment styles, knowing that not everybody sees the world the way that you do, that people experience relationships differently, for me, that was a revelation.

It's basically what led me to get into this area, both as a therapist and as a researcher.

Yeah, definitely.

So it turns out, and I didn't know it myself, and when I came across it, it felt like a light bulb went on for me.

There is a science of how we behave in close relationships, both romantic and non-romantic.

And there's several decades of research that has gone into it, and it has to do with the science of adult attachment.

And it really explains

to us why we behave the way we do.

So really understanding your attachment style and also the attachment styles of others, it really gives you a roadmap to deciphering better what's happening in a relationship.

So I guess it's best to start with what the different attachment styles are to begin with.

There's the anxious, avoidant, secure, and fearful avoidance.

These are the four attachment styles.

And it all has to do with how comfortable you feel with intimacy and closeness, but also how sensitive of a radar do you have for potential threat or potentially something going wrong in your relationship.

So if you love intimacy and closeness, you can't get enough of it, but you also are very, very sensitive to potential threat in the relationship, you just notice things a lot more, then you have an anxious attachment style.

You worry more about the relationship not working out, that you're not going to be loved the way that you love.