Dr. Amir Levine

There's a lot of worry that goes into having an anxious attachment style.

And then if you have a secure attachment style, you also love a lot of intimacy and closeness, but you don't have a sensitive radar.

So a lot of things go over your head.

You don't notice little things in the relationship.

So it's much easier for you to be warm and loving, and you don't get upset that often in relationships.

Now, the avoidant attachment style, it has to do more with

feeling uncomfortable with too much closeness they still want to be in relationships but too much closeness just like doesn't feel good to them so they use what we call deactivating strategies and we're going to talk about there's a lot of attachment lingo that's really important to learn they use different strategies to keep their partners and other people at arm's length they just get like this closeness overdose and they just

try to keep a little bit more measure of distance.

So these are the three main attachment styles.

And then there's the fearful avoidant that's much more rare.

That's a combination of anxious and avoidant.

So you both, you want closeness and you long for closeness, but once you get it, you feel uncomfortable.

So it's like with one hand you motion, come close, and then the other hand you motion, stay away, stay away.

That's the fearful avoidant attachment style.

I think from my experience, some people are like, yes, that's it.

I'm definitely anxious.

Other people say, yes, I'm definitely avoidant.

People know that they're secure too.

And oftentimes people think, oh, I'm fearful avoidant, but actually if they look into it more, they'll see they're probably more anxious or avoidant.

But you can also take a quiz and I have the quiz on my website and you can really decipher your attachment style.