Dr. Amir Levine

It's the way that is distributed in the population.

Around 50, a little bit more than 50% of the population are secure.

About 25% are avoidant and about 20% are anxious.

And there's just a small percentage are fearful avoidance.

And when we go out into the world and we find someone that we're attracted to, we don't always check for to see what they are.

We just get, you're attracted to them.

And then once that bond forms, now we have to start getting along with them and whatever they bring to the table.

And that's when it gets a little bit tricky.

But remember what I told you before, they don't have a very sensitive radar.

And so they don't pick up on things that you think would bother them.

They're very, they're not that easily bothered in relationships.

That's what's so great about them.

One example is that I have is someone told me who's secure when she read attached, when she read the book, she said, oh, you know, I really think my partner is avoidant, but she, I think she was the, she was the editor of Scientific American.

And at the time she said, it works really well for me because I have to travel a lot for work.

and I'm hardly ever at home.

And he's rarely even bothered by it.

It doesn't bother him.

So I get my freedom to do whatever I want.

So it just gives you an example of how sometimes having someone avoidant, it's not necessarily always bad.

And because she's secure, she doesn't see it as a threat that it doesn't bother him.