Dr. Amir Levine

For me, that was a revelation.

It's basically what led me to get into this area, both as a therapist and as a researcher and as a writer.

But I've also seen over the years in therapy with couples and with individuals, how much it can really change their outlook on things.

And for example, for people who are anxious, it's easier for them to not take things as personally as much.

If you know that the other person needs more distance, but it's not because they don't love you or because they

like trying to push you away is just because they need more distance, then it gives you the opportunity to be okay with it and not take it personally.

Like there's something wrong with me.

They don't love me the way that they could love someone else.

If you know that, no, that's not about you.

It's more just about how their style of interacting, of attaching.

And that's how it's going to be with many others.

then you can take a breather, and then you can engage less in that protest behavior that gives them more space.

That's something that you see on social media a lot, that people think that our attachment style in childhood are the attachment styles that we're going to have in adulthood.

But that's actually not what the science tells us.

The science shows us that only around less than 10%

of our adult attachment can be explained by the attachment styles that we have as that can be explained by the attachment styles that we had in childhood and that the majority of what defines our attachment styles in adulthood actually has to do more with things that happen later in life and that i find to be very very promising

and one of the reasons i really fell in love with this whole field is because of this promise of change that we can and do change our attachment styles over the course of our life and i think it can happen at any age and it really has to do with the the relationships that we find later in life

and how it can really shape and morph.

It's basically a working model, our belief system, what we noticed, how we behave and function in relationships.

I find it to be very promising.