Dr. Becky Kennedy

I think we have to name it differently.

None of this is about making our kid happy.

The reason we intervene so quickly when our kid is upset is to make ourselves more comfortable.

And as long as we keep saying it's about making our kid happy, it sounds nice.

As long as we shift it to hold on,

What's going on for me when I see my kid left out?

What's going on for me when my kid is, I don't know, struggling in this way?

Now I might be more able to tolerate the situation out here because I'm zoned in on what's really happening.

That's everything.

Emotion regulation is the single most important skill of life.

It is the most important thing.

Hard skills, soft skills.

We always have it wrong.

Motion regulation, they say, is a soft skill.

It is the most important thing.

You're never going to be able to use any of your business skills if you're frustrated and yelling at everyone.

So that's a precondition.

Emotion regulation isn't your ability to get rid of emotions.

It's not your ability to exit emotions or bring them to a zero.

It's your ability to manage emotions and feel like yourself and feel capable while you're having a feeling.