Dr. Becky Kennedy

In all those situations, I'm not communicating what I would do and the success of the intervention requires my kid to do something, which is just not a bet. We really want to make a boundary in that situation would be saying it looks like it's hard for you to get off the couch. If by the time I get over to you, you're not off.

In all those situations, I'm not communicating what I would do and the success of the intervention requires my kid to do something, which is just not a bet. We really want to make a boundary in that situation would be saying it looks like it's hard for you to get off the couch. If by the time I get over to you, you're not off.

I will pick you up and put you on the ground because it's just not safe to jump near that glass table. So. This actually always leads to the second part of your job because we have some fantasy that when we deliver that boundary well, your kid's going to say, oh, dad, I really needed that. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. They never do that.

I will pick you up and put you on the ground because it's just not safe to jump near that glass table. So. This actually always leads to the second part of your job because we have some fantasy that when we deliver that boundary well, your kid's going to say, oh, dad, I really needed that. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. They never do that.

I will pick you up and put you on the ground because it's just not safe to jump near that glass table. So. This actually always leads to the second part of your job because we have some fantasy that when we deliver that boundary well, your kid's going to say, oh, dad, I really needed that. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. They never do that.

They always protest, which is what we do as adults. Also, when people set boundaries that we don't like, we get upset. And then you can do the other part of your job. which is validating their emotional experience. Oh, you really wanted to jump on the couch. Oh, you're really upset. You really wish you could make your own decisions. And so the boundary is the limit we set to keep our kids safe.

They always protest, which is what we do as adults. Also, when people set boundaries that we don't like, we get upset. And then you can do the other part of your job. which is validating their emotional experience. Oh, you really wanted to jump on the couch. Oh, you're really upset. You really wish you could make your own decisions. And so the boundary is the limit we set to keep our kids safe.

They always protest, which is what we do as adults. Also, when people set boundaries that we don't like, we get upset. And then you can do the other part of your job. which is validating their emotional experience. Oh, you really wanted to jump on the couch. Oh, you're really upset. You really wish you could make your own decisions. And so the boundary is the limit we set to keep our kids safe.

And then validating their emotional experience that generally comes up in the face of our boundary is how we stay connected to our kid and actually how we also help them build emotion regulation skills.

And then validating their emotional experience that generally comes up in the face of our boundary is how we stay connected to our kid and actually how we also help them build emotion regulation skills.

And then validating their emotional experience that generally comes up in the face of our boundary is how we stay connected to our kid and actually how we also help them build emotion regulation skills.

Great. We already kind of talked about what a lot of people struggle with boundaries. One of the things we struggle with validation is we have this false equivalence that validating my kids' feelings means I agree with those feelings or I would have those feelings. That actually goes back to multiplicity. I I am not upset. My kid is upset.

Great. We already kind of talked about what a lot of people struggle with boundaries. One of the things we struggle with validation is we have this false equivalence that validating my kids' feelings means I agree with those feelings or I would have those feelings. That actually goes back to multiplicity. I I am not upset. My kid is upset.

Great. We already kind of talked about what a lot of people struggle with boundaries. One of the things we struggle with validation is we have this false equivalence that validating my kids' feelings means I agree with those feelings or I would have those feelings. That actually goes back to multiplicity. I I am not upset. My kid is upset.

And part of being in any healthy relationship is recognizing that other people feel the way they feel and that that's okay. Exactly. I pick them up. Oh, you wish you could keep jumping on the couch. You wish is generally a great statement to start any validating phrase because you're speaking to the thing you're not allowing your kid to do that they really wish they could do.

And part of being in any healthy relationship is recognizing that other people feel the way they feel and that that's okay. Exactly. I pick them up. Oh, you wish you could keep jumping on the couch. You wish is generally a great statement to start any validating phrase because you're speaking to the thing you're not allowing your kid to do that they really wish they could do.

And part of being in any healthy relationship is recognizing that other people feel the way they feel and that that's okay. Exactly. I pick them up. Oh, you wish you could keep jumping on the couch. You wish is generally a great statement to start any validating phrase because you're speaking to the thing you're not allowing your kid to do that they really wish they could do.

You wish you could have ice cream for breakfast. You wish you could stay up later. You wish you could watch another TV show. And this is the other thing. People think when you say that, that means I'm letting my kid watch another TV show or I'm letting them know I'm holding my boundary and I'm validating how they're feeling.

You wish you could have ice cream for breakfast. You wish you could stay up later. You wish you could watch another TV show. And this is the other thing. People think when you say that, that means I'm letting my kid watch another TV show or I'm letting them know I'm holding my boundary and I'm validating how they're feeling.

You wish you could have ice cream for breakfast. You wish you could stay up later. You wish you could watch another TV show. And this is the other thing. People think when you say that, that means I'm letting my kid watch another TV show or I'm letting them know I'm holding my boundary and I'm validating how they're feeling.