Dr. Becky Kennedy

The third thing I want parents to know, and, like, to me, this is... I should have said it's the first thing. I messed up my order.

Start over.

Start over.

OK, then this is I'm excited. I'm excited. We can put the third thing out there. I'll leave everyone with a cliffhanger with the third thing. This one's important. That one's even more important. OK, so I think first of all, again, and we have to understand before we intervene. So how do we build resilience? Well, what is resilience? Right. And we have to really understand that.

OK, then this is I'm excited. I'm excited. We can put the third thing out there. I'll leave everyone with a cliffhanger with the third thing. This one's important. That one's even more important. OK, so I think first of all, again, and we have to understand before we intervene. So how do we build resilience? Well, what is resilience? Right. And we have to really understand that.

And I think that resilience really is our ability to tolerate hard things. And the word tolerate is important because we all think it's the ability to get through it. The getting through happens when it happens.

And I think that resilience really is our ability to tolerate hard things. And the word tolerate is important because we all think it's the ability to get through it. The getting through happens when it happens.

And the truth is the longer you can tolerate something, not something toxic, that is so not what I'm talking about, or abusive, but the longer you can tolerate something hard, the success is going to find itself and it's going to be more likely because you were able to stay in the hard place.

And the truth is the longer you can tolerate something, not something toxic, that is so not what I'm talking about, or abusive, but the longer you can tolerate something hard, the success is going to find itself and it's going to be more likely because you were able to stay in the hard place.

I can give you two different examples very concretely. Right. So this is something I teach to a lot of parents in one of my favorite, my frustration tolerance workshop, which is relevant for school, for everything. So let's say, and I'll say my three-year-old is doing a puzzle. I can't do it. You do it for me. You do it for me. This is a good example. Right. And as a parent, I get it.

I can give you two different examples very concretely. Right. So this is something I teach to a lot of parents in one of my favorite, my frustration tolerance workshop, which is relevant for school, for everything. So let's say, and I'll say my three-year-old is doing a puzzle. I can't do it. You do it for me. You do it for me. This is a good example. Right. And as a parent, I get it.

You've gotten home. You're like, this is like the last thing.

You've gotten home. You're like, this is like the last thing.

I was going to have a nice night with my kid. I get it. But I'm really driven by impact. And so I actually get this sick joy when my kid is on the verge of a meltdown.

I was going to have a nice night with my kid. I get it. But I'm really driven by impact. And so I actually get this sick joy when my kid is on the verge of a meltdown.

Yes. Especially when I've been working a lot. Because I'm like, if I'm going to spend 20 minutes with my kid, I'm going to make it count. And it's nice if I'm there for a pleasant 20 minutes, of course. But if I want to have impact, I literally can picture my impact on him.

Yes. Especially when I've been working a lot. Because I'm like, if I'm going to spend 20 minutes with my kid, I'm going to make it count. And it's nice if I'm there for a pleasant 20 minutes, of course. But if I want to have impact, I literally can picture my impact on him.

But in a way, I think that's a really important reframe. Especially if you're a parent who travels a lot or you're not around a lot, to be like, wait, I can have impact. It's not easy. It's certainly not convenient. That's the one word parents need to know. Having kids is not fun or convenient in most situations. It's not fun. at all. And this is like your, it's like your Super Bowl right now.

But in a way, I think that's a really important reframe. Especially if you're a parent who travels a lot or you're not around a lot, to be like, wait, I can have impact. It's not easy. It's certainly not convenient. That's the one word parents need to know. Having kids is not fun or convenient in most situations. It's not fun. at all. And this is like your, it's like your Super Bowl right now.

I guess this is your opportunity, you know, because my kid and how I respond to the puzzle is not going to remember anything about the puzzle. Their body, not from that one time, but from patterns is going to be developing expectations around what can I do when things get hard?