Dr. Becky Kennedy

We all do. My kid doesn't respect me. My kid's a sociopath. My kid has no empathy. And then we intervene from that interpretation. A massively helpful thing in any part of life, and you can't use it in the moment until you've really practiced it out of the moment. A kid has this Nerf gun. I said, don't point it at your sister. They pointed at your sister. I agree. Bad behavior.

What is my most generous interpretation? If you really force yourself to answer that, you do something powerful. You separate identity from behavior. Okay, you probably say some version of, I have a good kid who's unable to control themselves with a Nerf gun, and every sibling has some anger toward another sibling, and this seemed like an opportune moment to take that out.

What is my most generous interpretation? If you really force yourself to answer that, you do something powerful. You separate identity from behavior. Okay, you probably say some version of, I have a good kid who's unable to control themselves with a Nerf gun, and every sibling has some anger toward another sibling, and this seemed like an opportune moment to take that out.

What is my most generous interpretation? If you really force yourself to answer that, you do something powerful. You separate identity from behavior. Okay, you probably say some version of, I have a good kid who's unable to control themselves with a Nerf gun, and every sibling has some anger toward another sibling, and this seemed like an opportune moment to take that out.

It just all was a perfect storm. And so... What should I do? This actually goes back to our job. I think a lot of times we get into situations where we're punishing and, quote, disciplining, even though I don't think that's the right word, our kid. Because again, we're not really doing our job as parents, right? Where we're not setting a limit.

It just all was a perfect storm. And so... What should I do? This actually goes back to our job. I think a lot of times we get into situations where we're punishing and, quote, disciplining, even though I don't think that's the right word, our kid. Because again, we're not really doing our job as parents, right? Where we're not setting a limit.

It just all was a perfect storm. And so... What should I do? This actually goes back to our job. I think a lot of times we get into situations where we're punishing and, quote, disciplining, even though I don't think that's the right word, our kid. Because again, we're not really doing our job as parents, right? Where we're not setting a limit.

Where maybe the intervention is, and again, this is where our intention matters. Because I'm going to say the same thing, but you'll hear it differently. Look, you're being ridiculous with that gun. I can't trust you, and so I'm taking it away. Intervention is taking it away. A kid is going to feel like a shitty kid.

Where maybe the intervention is, and again, this is where our intention matters. Because I'm going to say the same thing, but you'll hear it differently. Look, you're being ridiculous with that gun. I can't trust you, and so I'm taking it away. Intervention is taking it away. A kid is going to feel like a shitty kid.

Where maybe the intervention is, and again, this is where our intention matters. Because I'm going to say the same thing, but you'll hear it differently. Look, you're being ridiculous with that gun. I can't trust you, and so I'm taking it away. Intervention is taking it away. A kid is going to feel like a shitty kid.

And you're going to feel bad at the end of the night versus, look, the truth is it's really hard to have a Nerf gun and make responsible decisions, especially when other people are around. I'm taking the Nerf gun, but it's not because you're a bad kid. You're a good kid who had a hard time. My job as a parent, my number one job is to keep you safe. And I actually love you so much.

And you're going to feel bad at the end of the night versus, look, the truth is it's really hard to have a Nerf gun and make responsible decisions, especially when other people are around. I'm taking the Nerf gun, but it's not because you're a bad kid. You're a good kid who had a hard time. My job as a parent, my number one job is to keep you safe. And I actually love you so much.

And you're going to feel bad at the end of the night versus, look, the truth is it's really hard to have a Nerf gun and make responsible decisions, especially when other people are around. I'm taking the Nerf gun, but it's not because you're a bad kid. You're a good kid who had a hard time. My job as a parent, my number one job is to keep you safe. And I actually love you so much.

I'm willing to make decisions to keep you safe, even if you protest and get mad at me. And this is one of those decisions. The Nerf gun is going away. Maybe there's a time in a week or two where I'll take it out, where it's just you and I. There's no one around. We'll play with it safely. And as we do that a few times, you'll show me you're increasingly capable. But for now, it's going to be away.

I'm willing to make decisions to keep you safe, even if you protest and get mad at me. And this is one of those decisions. The Nerf gun is going away. Maybe there's a time in a week or two where I'll take it out, where it's just you and I. There's no one around. We'll play with it safely. And as we do that a few times, you'll show me you're increasingly capable. But for now, it's going to be away.

I'm willing to make decisions to keep you safe, even if you protest and get mad at me. And this is one of those decisions. The Nerf gun is going away. Maybe there's a time in a week or two where I'll take it out, where it's just you and I. There's no one around. We'll play with it safely. And as we do that a few times, you'll show me you're increasingly capable. But for now, it's going to be away.

Like we do that not to our kid. We do that for our kid because we actually want to protect them from doing things that make them act like a bad kid.

Like we do that not to our kid. We do that for our kid because we actually want to protect them from doing things that make them act like a bad kid.

Like we do that not to our kid. We do that for our kid because we actually want to protect them from doing things that make them act like a bad kid.

I think about someone, I don't know why, like someone who's trying not to drink alcohol. And like if someone's, hey, you really shouldn't drink alcohol when you're in a bar. Someone would just say, yeah, if you're early recovery, you probably shouldn't be in the bar.