Dr. Becky Kennedy
speaker
3,434 appearances
7 recordings
6 series
first heard Feb 2024
last heard 18 Jun
Dr. Becky Kennedy’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 2.
Appearances
And by the way, when you really learn the whole thing, you're like, this, by the way, is just working at my workplace, too. It's like all the same stuff. Because imagine a CEO saying, hey, I know where it's gotten out. Let me just tell you something, even though it's a little premature and I wouldn't have done it. But here we are. We will have a round of layoffs.
I know that's not what anyone wants. Here's what I know. We're going to announce it on Friday. Here's what I don't know. I don't have the exact list yet. I'll announce more on Friday. It is a tough situation. As a company, we're going to get through it. That's who I want to be as a CEO. I can name what's true, and I can talk about things that people already are noticing.
And so that's the principle that guides me. So already your kids know about this thing. I think we almost get out of reality. Wish they didn't. They're so young. They're hearing you say grandma has cancer.
So either you're going to talk to them about it or you're going to pretend like they didn't hear it, which, by the way, Jordan, is one of the biggest things we do to undermine a kid's confidence.
Oh, no, no. You don't hear anything. They're like, oh, I guess I can't trust myself.
So what I would say, even now, a big thing also is learning about the stuff and educating ourselves doesn't mean we're going to be perfect parents. There are no perfect parents in my family. We have a mantra that says perfect is creepy in general. I think that's helpful to think about. So we're going to get it wrong. But actually, then we can repair and go back to our kids.
So I think you can say, hey, I want to talk about something that happened. You heard that loud noise. And then we need to give our kids stories. Take all the disparate things kids notice and weave them together. And we all do better with a quilt than random patchwork floating. Because when kids have patchwork that isn't quilted together by a parent, they have to make up their own story.
Then they tend to perseverate on it. Your daughter going through it in play, I actually think is adaptive because kids learn through play and they gain mastery through play. Like for all I know, she's like, and then the bad guys left and she's just actually trying to gain mastery of it. But sometimes kids do it in play over and over because they're like, nobody's telling me what's happening.
So I just have to figure it out. So I would just tell her the story, a version that's appropriate. So again, there's a version of like how truthful only a parent knows the version of truth that, again, isn't avoiding because that just makes kids fear and is developmentally appropriate. But like death is a good example. Some people say weird things. Grandma's in the clouds. Grandma's sleeping.
Like, What? Grandma died. Death is when the body stopped working.
Oh, no, we're not going to see her. Thank you for asking me that question. Again, it kind of goes back to resilience. When we believe kids can tolerate something, they become able. to tolerate that thing.
And just a line that I find sometimes naming what's true is one of the best things we can do. So it might seem simple, but even just saying to your daughter, you're still thinking a lot about what happened and period. Like that actually is really helpful for a kid. You're just noticing they're processing. We're not fixing. We're just, wow, you're still really thinking about that.
That stuck with you. Yeah, I think about that sometimes too. Can actually be a missing piece for a kid in their processing.
No. I think we all, again, like it's one of the main things with kids. We all learn the best when other people are imperfect. None of us like to learn from perfect people. It's full of shame because you're like, I could never be like that. And so I actually bet your audience just is more willing to learn from you and has more trust in you. It's like what I say all the time.
I just yelled at my kids. I was on my phone too much. My kids don't have Dr. Becky as a mom and I wouldn't wish that on them.
So if you go in our app in our library and you look at if you search for frustration, the first thing is that building resilience and improving frustration tolerance. Having a hard time losing actually is a sign a kid needs more frustration tolerance skills because they're not tolerating the frustration of losing.
And those skills then also help in academics and struggling at math, winning and getting in 100, whatever it is. And so it all relates. And so to me, when kids show us the things they're struggling with, it's good because you're like, oh, that means at this age I can already know the skills you need help with. That's like a huge leg up in life rather than figuring it out at age 18.
Which is actually, I'm telling you, the confidence and frustration tolerance, I think it'll blow your mind. Because actually, it goes back to how reassurance sometimes diminishes confidence. In the moment, it feels good.
But when they're older and someone else gets a promotion before, if the only way they feel good is getting a promotion at the same time, that's more fragile than being like, okay, sometimes I make mistakes. Sometimes something happens here and I can still find myself and keep going. That's like the thing we want.
I think you'll get so much, but, like, even better than that is the next time you're reading a book, when you make a mistake in front of him, there's nothing more powerful. It's like... You learn more from your boss saying in front of a group, hey, guys, I'm sorry I yelled earlier, whatever.
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