Dr. Becky Kennedy
speaker
3,434 appearances
7 recordings
6 series
first heard Feb 2024
last heard 18 Jun
Dr. Becky Kennedy’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 2.
Appearances
You're more likely to say in your next meeting to your team, I'm sorry I yelled just because they did the thing and made it more okay. So you guys making mistakes in front of your kid, believable ones. Maybe you're doing a crossword puzzle. Oh, I got the whole thing wrong. Oh, I burned garlic. Oh, sometimes when I burn garlic, I feel like I'm a horrible chef. Am I a good chef? You know what?
It's okay to burn garlic. No one's perfect. Because when we just say to our kid, it's okay to make a mistake. It's all here. That's not how kids learn. It's through experiences. So this is just one of many things, but that's actually probably going to be more powerful over time.
You struggling, then the lessons we directly teach them, which don't end up sticking because again, it just speaks to logic. But logic is obviously not even present in the moment when we all get upset.
Thank you. Excited for a part two. And this was really fun. Thank you.
I'm going to try to answer all that. You'll let me know which parts of the question I lose as we go. So what you started with just resonates with me so strongly. And I think it really is the reason I get out of bed every morning, right? Parenting is the most important job in the world. And it is the hardest job.
And it's probably the job we'll have for the longest number of years because everyone knows it's more than 18 years, right? So And someone said to me, I'll never forget, it's the only job you care about on your deathbed, which I was like, OK, that's heavy. But I think that's I mean, I wouldn't know yet, hopefully, but I think that's true.
And it's also like the only job that falls under like very difficult, very impactful, very ongoing that we literally get no training for. Right. And like if my friend was a surgeon and called me and said, I'm not doing surgery. Right. And I'm messing everything up and kind of messed up this person forever. And I'm so bad.
And then I started poking around and it turned out she never went to med school or never went to residency. I'm pretty sure I would say to her, hey, this is not that you're a bad surgeon. That's not what this is. You weren't adequately prepared. And it's probably time to invest in resources.
And I just want to say, too, because I think it's important that if she said, don't worry, I got all my tips on Instagram. I'd say, OK. I mean, you might want to do a little more in depth than that. I think you deserve a little better than that. And yet this is what parents are set up for.
When I've asked parents the number one reason why they don't get the support they even think they need, the number one reason I get, the number one reason I hear is I should be able to do this on my own.
Yeah. And there's a shame. And I think there's a really strong societal message as a woman. I can say the maternal instinct is like a real thing that people think we should have, which really is a way of saying parenting has kind of traditionally been a woman's job. I think they're shifting around that. It's great.
And it should just be something women have an instinct to do, which is a really great setup for any parent when they're struggling to say, I guess it's me. And I think when we're struggling, I mean, I think when we're struggling with anything, we have two paths. And this is where I think we'll be talking about parenting, but you don't have kids. I'm sure some of your listeners don't have kids.
This is in some ways about kids, in some ways 0% about kids and parenting. Like when we're struggling, we can either say, what is wrong with me and it's my fault? Or when we're struggling, we can say, what resources and support do I need? And they're two completely different paths. One is activating and has hope and has the likelihood of change.
And one is actually spiraling into an abyss and a freeze state. of shame, which makes it impossible to change. And I think parents have typically said to themselves, what's wrong with me? This should be easier. You kind of also see on Instagram, it looks like everyone else got their kid to smile for a holiday card. And you're like, that's not what happened to my kids.
And you feel like it's your fault. And then you don't talk about it. And then you fake good. And then the next person's like, well, that person seems to be having a hard time. And Then then honestly, we feel small. You know, we don't get those resources. We don't feel empowered. And kind of happens generation after generation until until it's not supposed to be depressing. This is so hopeful.
You know what we see a good inside and we we hear all the time from our members is I came here for my kid. Like, yeah. That is not why I'm here now. Like I now ask for a raise. I now can stand up to my partner when they're mad at me. I now know that it's okay for me to go away for a weekend with my college friends, even when my partner and my kids are upset. Like that's their feelings.
Like I can have empathy and I can still do the things I need to do for myself. And in that way, I feel like what we're talking about is a lot of stuff you talk about is actually just, I call it sturdy leadership. And what's interesting to me is I feel like we have a lot of models for sturdy leadership in the workplace. Like, there's a lot of thoughts now.
Like, you can't really just yell at people and expect them to get better at work. And I even think that's, like, been modernized on the sports field. Like, the best coaches, like, kind of know you got to connect before you correct. And what's kind of amazing and sad, and yet we're there, I think, hopefully now, is, like, parenting young kids is kind of the last place
to modernize where sturdy leadership kind of gets applied and what it really looks like and how it benefits everyone. But that's really what good insight is.
I use sports analogies all the time and connect before you correct. There's a lot of phrases I'll take credit for. That one's not mine. I actually can find, I don't know who said it first, but it is beautiful and it gives you an order of operations, right?
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