Dr. Becky Kennedy

But I think something I think is critical is called frustration tolerance.

It's our ability to tolerate the inherent frustrations of life.

There are actually fewer frustrations than there used to be.

it leads to more quote bad behavior because every time our kids, when they're younger, when they see that we are as scared of their distressing emotions as they are, it leads to more intense distressing emotions over time.

So then the reason they have quote bad behavior is just because they have feelings without skills.

But if every time their feelings overpower their skills, which comes out in a tantrum or I hate you, we just shut it down as quickly as possible.

Then of course, the next time those feelings are going to be even more intense and they still haven't learned the skills.

I think, do you have Blockbuster growing up?

Oh, yes.

Okay.

So think about what it was like when you and I were young and we wanted to watch a movie.

Best case scenario is your parents had a Blockbuster membership.

Best case.

So this is what it was like for me.

Oh, mom, I really want to watch this movie tomorrow.

Can we go to Blockbuster?

Like it's,

Can we go to, can you imagine your kid?

Okay.

So then best case, my mom says yes, or my dad.