Dr. Becky Kennedy

That is completely accurate. And I think, you know, I double down on that and say, I think when we have kids, we have this unconscious mindset. wish that they're going to heal us. Ooh. And they trigger us. Ooh. That's what happens when you have kids. So I say it again? We have an unconscious wish that our kids will heal us. And in reality, our kids trigger us.

That is completely accurate. And I think, you know, I double down on that and say, I think when we have kids, we have this unconscious mindset. wish that they're going to heal us. Ooh. And they trigger us. Ooh. That's what happens when you have kids. So I say it again? We have an unconscious wish that our kids will heal us. And in reality, our kids trigger us.

Because I think in general, we all have the wish that something... in the external world, something we can gaze out at, will finally give us the comfort and the sense of safety and security that we've always been yearning for.

Because I think in general, we all have the wish that something... in the external world, something we can gaze out at, will finally give us the comfort and the sense of safety and security that we've always been yearning for.

And part of adulthood, I think, involves learning to gaze in, not from a place of it's my fault, but from a place of actually, like, I have the power, and it's hard, but I have the power to do that myself.

And part of adulthood, I think, involves learning to gaze in, not from a place of it's my fault, but from a place of actually, like, I have the power, and it's hard, but I have the power to do that myself.

The third thing I want parents to know, and, like, to me, this is... I should have said it's the first thing. I messed up my order.

The third thing I want parents to know, and, like, to me, this is... I should have said it's the first thing. I messed up my order.

Start over.

Start over.

OK, then this is I'm excited. I'm excited. We can put the third thing out there. I'll leave everyone with a cliffhanger with the third thing. This one's important. That one's even more important. OK, so I think first of all, again, and we have to understand before we intervene. So how do we build resilience? Well, what is resilience? Right. And we have to really understand that.

OK, then this is I'm excited. I'm excited. We can put the third thing out there. I'll leave everyone with a cliffhanger with the third thing. This one's important. That one's even more important. OK, so I think first of all, again, and we have to understand before we intervene. So how do we build resilience? Well, what is resilience? Right. And we have to really understand that.

And I think that resilience really is our ability to tolerate hard things. And the word tolerate is important because we all think it's the ability to get through it. The getting through happens when it happens.

And I think that resilience really is our ability to tolerate hard things. And the word tolerate is important because we all think it's the ability to get through it. The getting through happens when it happens.

And the truth is the longer you can tolerate something, not something toxic, that is so not what I'm talking about, or abusive, but the longer you can tolerate something hard, the success is going to find itself and it's going to be more likely because you were able to stay in the hard place.

And the truth is the longer you can tolerate something, not something toxic, that is so not what I'm talking about, or abusive, but the longer you can tolerate something hard, the success is going to find itself and it's going to be more likely because you were able to stay in the hard place.

I can give you two different examples very concretely. Right. So this is something I teach to a lot of parents in one of my favorite, my frustration tolerance workshop, which is relevant for school, for everything. So let's say, and I'll say my three-year-old is doing a puzzle. I can't do it. You do it for me. You do it for me. This is a good example. Right. And as a parent, I get it.

I can give you two different examples very concretely. Right. So this is something I teach to a lot of parents in one of my favorite, my frustration tolerance workshop, which is relevant for school, for everything. So let's say, and I'll say my three-year-old is doing a puzzle. I can't do it. You do it for me. You do it for me. This is a good example. Right. And as a parent, I get it.

You've gotten home. You're like, this is like the last thing.

You've gotten home. You're like, this is like the last thing.