Dr. Becky Kennedy

And that will eventually get to point three. And I wouldn't wish Dr. Becky as a real parent on any kid. It's just like... You learn the most, I'm sure you too in life, you learn the most from people who struggle and repair. Of course. But here's this moment, and I can go through an older kid example too because it's not as obvious, but my kid is frustrated.

And that will eventually get to point three. And I wouldn't wish Dr. Becky as a real parent on any kid. It's just like... You learn the most, I'm sure you too in life, you learn the most from people who struggle and repair. Of course. But here's this moment, and I can go through an older kid example too because it's not as obvious, but my kid is frustrated.

My kid's going to be frustrated for the rest of their life in higher stakes situations. They're going to be given something from a boss and be like, I don't know how to do this. And I actually don't, first of all, I definitely don't want my kid when they're 25 to call me and be like, can you do my project for me? I definitely don't want that. I don't want them to be indignant.

My kid's going to be frustrated for the rest of their life in higher stakes situations. They're going to be given something from a boss and be like, I don't know how to do this. And I actually don't, first of all, I definitely don't want my kid when they're 25 to call me and be like, can you do my project for me? I definitely don't want that. I don't want them to be indignant.

How could this person have? I want them to have some type of weight. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I have a feeling I can just think this through or get a little further. So that's what I want there. That is not unrelated to the pattern of how I interact now. Wow. So I could say, here's the piece. Once in a while, I do that. Not great for long-term resilience.

How could this person have? I want them to have some type of weight. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I have a feeling I can just think this through or get a little further. So that's what I want there. That is not unrelated to the pattern of how I interact now. Wow. So I could say, here's the piece. Once in a while, I do that. Not great for long-term resilience.

So here's what I might do, okay? And my kid is starting to have a tantrum. And even he's saying, do the piece. I can't do it. I'm going to say, sweetie, sweetie, this is so hard. This is so hard. And I have real kids. It's not like they are going to say to me, oh, that's so helpful to hear. No, it's not going to happen. They're going to still freaking out.

So here's what I might do, okay? And my kid is starting to have a tantrum. And even he's saying, do the piece. I can't do it. I'm going to say, sweetie, sweetie, this is so hard. This is so hard. And I have real kids. It's not like they are going to say to me, oh, that's so helpful to hear. No, it's not going to happen. They're going to still freaking out.

But their reaction is different than the power of my intervention. Also two separate things. I might say this. I might say, oh, so many pieces. I don't know where it goes. Does it go here? Does it go here? Does it go here? And if my kid is like, do it for me. I really, and I've said this to my kid. Listen, sweetie, I'm not going to do it for you. Here's why.

But their reaction is different than the power of my intervention. Also two separate things. I might say this. I might say, oh, so many pieces. I don't know where it goes. Does it go here? Does it go here? Does it go here? And if my kid is like, do it for me. I really, and I've said this to my kid. Listen, sweetie, I'm not going to do it for you. Here's why.

I know you're capable of figuring this out. And the best feeling in the world is the feeling you get when you think you can't do something. And then you wait a little bit and you see that you can do a little bit more. And I'm not going to take that feeling away from you. And so I'll take a deep breath with you. We can take a break. But, like, I know you can do this. Okay? And...

I know you're capable of figuring this out. And the best feeling in the world is the feeling you get when you think you can't do something. And then you wait a little bit and you see that you can do a little bit more. And I'm not going to take that feeling away from you. And so I'll take a deep breath with you. We can take a break. But, like, I know you can do this. Okay? And...

When I hear people be like, does that work? Yes. I mean, doesn't that work for adults? Imagine you're having a hard time at your job and you're saying to your manager, like, you do this one. If they're like, listen, I'm not because I know you're capable. And like, it's okay if it takes some time. It's okay if you take a break. I can be here to like kind of think about where could that piece go?

When I hear people be like, does that work? Yes. I mean, doesn't that work for adults? Imagine you're having a hard time at your job and you're saying to your manager, like, you do this one. If they're like, listen, I'm not because I know you're capable. And like, it's okay if it takes some time. It's okay if you take a break. I can be here to like kind of think about where could that piece go?

Ooh, is that an edge? Ooh, edges in the middle. Probably not in the puzzle. Where do, oh, you're right. Edges go on the outside. Look at you. My kid experiences the win and what their body learns. Is when I get frustrated, I don't look for the answer for someone to take that away from me and give me immediate success.

Ooh, is that an edge? Ooh, edges in the middle. Probably not in the puzzle. Where do, oh, you're right. Edges go on the outside. Look at you. My kid experiences the win and what their body learns. Is when I get frustrated, I don't look for the answer for someone to take that away from me and give me immediate success.

By the way, if we really want to get into it, if we want to know what entitlement is, entitlement is the accumulated experience of feeling frustrated and then having someone else give you immediate success. Wow. That's what it is.

By the way, if we really want to get into it, if we want to know what entitlement is, entitlement is the accumulated experience of feeling frustrated and then having someone else give you immediate success. Wow. That's what it is.

And I'll never forget seeing the family of 16-year-olds who was like horrified their kid had a full-on tantrum at 16 because they weren't flying first class. Oh, my gosh. And they were like, every parent's nightmare. And they're like, how do we get an entitled kid? The most well-meaning parents. But this was a kid every time something didn't go his way.

And I'll never forget seeing the family of 16-year-olds who was like horrified their kid had a full-on tantrum at 16 because they weren't flying first class. Oh, my gosh. And they were like, every parent's nightmare. And they're like, how do we get an entitled kid? The most well-meaning parents. But this was a kid every time something didn't go his way.